Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.0)
The graph shows that how the numbers of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US btween 1960 and 2020. It can be clearly seen that four sectors in the US and comparsion 1960 and 2020.
In 1960, the healthcare sectors had 3 million jobs, and than the numbers of jobs increased 5 million in 1980, and than the numbers of jobs steeply up 11 million in 2000, while there are 15 million jobs in the healthcare sectors in 2020.
Overall, there are huge difference of all jobs sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0
The response identifies healthcare as a sector that grows over time, but it reports several figures inaccurately: healthcare is about 2 million jobs in 1960 and 16 million in 2020, not 3 million and 15 million. It also omits the other three sectors, so it does not compare the main trends or identify key features such as manufacturing peaking in 1980 and then declining, or agriculture falling overall. The overview, “huge difference of all jobs sectors,” is too vague to summarise the graph’s main patterns. The response is also 79 words, 71 short of the required 150, which leaves the task substantially incomplete. Include a clear overview and select accurate comparisons across all four lines.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
There is a basic sequence: an opening statement, a paragraph describing healthcare over time, and a concluding overview. Time markers such as “In 1960,” “in 1980,” and “in 2000” help the reader follow that one series. However, the response does not develop a logical comparison across the graph, and the final sentence does not clearly connect to the specific figures already given. Repeated “and than” makes the progression mechanical, while “while” introduces a contrast that is not clearly expressed. Use separate paragraphs for the overview and grouped comparisons, and connect related trends—for example, the rise in retail and healthcare against the decline in agriculture.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The response uses a small set of relevant terms, including “jobs,” “sectors,” “increased,” and “steeply,” so the general subject is understandable. However, the vocabulary is repetitive and some word choices or forms are inaccurate: “numbers of jobs” is repeated, “steeply up” is not a natural collocation, and “huge difference” is too imprecise for describing trends. Spelling errors such as “btween” and “comparsion” also reduce accuracy. To improve, use a wider range of standard chart language, such as “rose,” “declined,” “reached a peak,” and “remained stable,” and name the sectors directly when making comparisons. This would make the description more precise and easier to interpret.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The response attempts a longer sentence with time clauses and a contrast, but grammatical control is weak and the range remains limited. The opening, “shows that how the numbers of jobs,” has an incorrect clause structure; “there are huge difference” has an agreement error; and “the healthcare sectors had” uses an awkward tense for reporting chart data. The sequence “and than the numbers of jobs increased 5 million” also lacks a clear grammatical construction, while “there are 15 million jobs” shifts tense unnecessarily. These errors make some relationships difficult to follow. Practise accurate simple comparisons first, then combine them with controlled clauses, for example: “Healthcare employment rose from about 2 million in 1960 to 16 million in 2020.”
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.