Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

THE GRAPH ILLUSTRATES THE INFORMATION ABOUT THE EMPLOYMENT IN FOUR SECTORS OF THE ECONOMY IN US OVER A PERIOD OF 1960 TO 2020.

OVERALL, IT CAN BE SEEN THAT THERE ARE VARIOUS JOB SECTORS MENTION IN GRAPH SUCH AS MANUFACTURING, RETAIL, AGRICULTURE AND HEALTHCARE ETC. THE GRAPH SHOWS THE VARIOUS CHANGES IN JOB SECTORS FROM 1960 TO 2020.

IN 1960 THE MANUFACTURING JOB SECTOR WAS RECORDED AS HIGHEST 15 MILLION. WHEREAS, RETAIL HAS THE SECOND HIGHEST EMPLOYMENT NEARLY 6 MILLION LATER, IT HAS BEEN SIGNIFICANTLY RISE IN 1980 AROUND 10 MILLION. MANUFACTURING WAS IN TREND IN 1980 AROUND 20 MILLION JOBS. WHEREAS AGRICULTURAL JOB MADE A BALANCED APPROACH WITH RETAIL APPROXIMATELY 5 MILLION IN 1960.

IN 1960 THE HEALTHCARE STARTED AT VERY LOW TRACK AROUND 3 MILLION BUT LATER DUE TO ITS HIGH DEMAND IN SECTOR HAS INCREASED TO 16 MILLION. THE MANUFACTURING JOB SECTOR STARTED AS ITS PEAK AND ENDED LOWER THAN RETAIL AND HEALTHCARE SECTOR APPROXIMATELY 13 MILLION IN 2020. THE AGRICULTURAL SECTOR HAS NOTED TO DECREASE TILL 2 MILLION. WHEREAS IN 2000 THE LEAST JOB SECURED WAS AGRICULTURAL SECTOR NEARLY 3 MILLION.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the four sectors and report several relevant trends, including manufacturing peaking at about 20 million in 1980 before falling to 13 million, and healthcare rising to 16 million by 2020. However, the overview mainly says that the graph shows “various changes” rather than summarising the key contrasts: retail and healthcare both rise, while agriculture declines, and manufacturing falls after its peak. Some figures are inaccurate: agriculture was about 6 million in 1960, not 5 million, and healthcare began at about 2 million, not 3 million. The account also omits the important 2000 comparison, when manufacturing remained highest. Select the main patterns more clearly and check figures against the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs, and it generally moves from earlier to later years. However, progression is not consistently clear: the first detail paragraph jumps between 1960 and 1980, while the second returns to 1960 before moving forward again. Repeated sentence openings such as “Whereas” and “The … sector” make the account feel list-like, and “Whereas” is sometimes used without a complete contrasting clause. The overview also repeats the introduction instead of guiding the reader through the main trends. Grouping rising sectors together and declining or fluctuating sectors together, with clearer links between comparisons, would make the organisation easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “employment,” “sector,” “increased,” “decrease,” and “peak,” so the reader can understand the general subject and direction of change. However, the range is limited and several word combinations are unnatural or imprecise, such as “balanced approach,” “started at very low track,” “was in trend,” and “job secured.” “Various changes” is also too general to describe the data precisely. Aim for standard graph language and accurate collocations, such as “remained stable,” “started at a low level,” “reached a peak,” and “the number of jobs.” This would make the description more precise without requiring overly complex vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt some longer sentences and use past-tense forms to describe changes, but control is uneven. Errors include missing or incorrect articles and prepositions in “highest 15 million” and “in US,” as well as faulty verb forms in “it has been significantly rise” and “the agricultural sector has noted to decrease.” Several clauses are joined or punctuated awkwardly, for example “Whereas, retail has the second highest employment nearly 6 million later,” which makes the relationship between ideas difficult to follow. Sentence patterns are also repetitive, with many statements beginning “The … sector.” Practise forming complete comparison sentences and maintaining consistent past-tense reporting; more accurate simple structures would improve clarity while you build range.

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