Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph provides information about the people occupied in four sectors of the economy namely, manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare, in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, most of the jobs were in manufacturing initially. However, this postion was overtaken by both retail and heathcare sector at the end of the period, as they never experinced any drop throughout the given timeline. On the contrary, for agricultural sector, the trend was downward only. For manufacturing jobs, there was a rise initially, followed by a downward trend.

15 millions jobs were available in manufacturing during 1960, which steadily grew to 20 millions in 1980. Afterwards, the number gradually dropped to around 13 millions in 2020. Although number jobs in heathcare was the lowest, hitting approximately 2 millions, it escalated to outscored the number of jobs for manufacturing after 2020 and reached around 16 millions in 2020.

Both the retail and agriculture sector has similar number of jobs, around 6 millions, initially in 1960. However, they experienced two different trends. Like healthcare jobs, retail sector out-numbered the jobs in manufacturing and increased slowly to reach about 16 millions jobs in 2020. On the otherside, agricultural jobs experienced slight decrease over the years, which ended at 2 millions jobs approximately in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main overall pattern: manufacturing starts as the largest sector, while retail and healthcare grow and agriculture declines. The key figures for manufacturing and agriculture are broadly accurate, and you include useful comparisons between the sectors. However, the overview says retail and healthcare overtook manufacturing “at the end,” which is imprecise: both reach about 16 million in 2020, above manufacturing at 13 million, but neither overtakes it before 2020. The statement that healthcare outscored manufacturing “after 2020” is also inconsistent with the chart. Some trends are reported less fully, particularly retail’s steady rise and healthcare’s growth from 2 to 16 million. Make the timing and comparisons precise and cover the main changes consistently.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear four-paragraph structure, moving from an introduction and overview to details about manufacturing and healthcare, then retail and agriculture. This gives the information a generally logical order, and linking expressions such as “However,” “Afterwards,” and “On the contrary” help signal contrasts. At times, though, the connections are not fully clear: “after 2020” conflicts with the stated period, and “Like healthcare jobs, retail sector out-numbered…” makes the comparison awkward and difficult to follow. The overview also repeats trends that are described again in the detail paragraphs. Use more precise references to the years and organise the body paragraphs around clear comparisons, while avoiding repeated summary statements.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “steadily grew,” “gradually dropped,” “downward trend,” and “escalated.” These choices make the main movements understandable, and terms such as “manufacturing” and “agricultural sector” are relevant to the task. Some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, however: “people occupied” is not a natural way to describe job numbers, “outscored” does not fit this comparison, and “number jobs” is missing a natural linking phrase. There are also spelling errors, including “postion,” “heathcare,” and “experinced.” Aim for precise chart language such as “employment,” “the number of jobs,” and “exceeded,” and proofread spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and more complex forms, including the contrast structure “Although …, it escalated…” and clauses introduced by “which.” Most of the message remains understandable, but some grammatical errors affect accuracy. For example, “Both the retail and agriculture sector has” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “Although number jobs in heathcare” is missing necessary articles and a preposition. In “reached around 16 millions jobs,” the plural form is incorrect after a number, and “the number gradually dropped” would be clearer with an article before “number.” Continue using varied sentence structures, but check agreement, articles, and singular/plural forms in each sentence.

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