Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the

economy in the US between 1960 and 2020 . Firstly,there are four different sectors of economy in the US namely,Manufacturing job, Retail job, Agriculture and the Healthcare sector.From the graph the highest number of work forse goes to the manufacturers,with about 15 million jobs and later on it rose to 20 million jobs.Although, as time went on we notice a decline in the numer of manufacturing jobs,which continued to drop until it dropped below 15 millionjobs. Secondly,Retail and Agricultural jobs are noticed to be second highest work forse in the US begining with less than 10 million jobs each and rose significantly to 15 million at the same time and remain like that continously with out changing. To conclude,thealth care sector happens to be the list amongs the four sectors,from the year 1960 to the year 2020,which began with a little lower than 5 million jobs and continue to fall significantly through out the period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response identifies manufacturing as the leading sector initially and notes its rise to around 20 million before declining, which captures one important trend. However, several key details are inaccurate: retail did not remain at 15 million after 2000, but rose slightly to about 16 million by 2020; agriculture fell from about 6 million to 2 million rather than rising to 15 million; and healthcare increased substantially from about 2 million to 16 million, not declined. The overview is therefore misleading and the main comparisons are not reliably reported. The response also contains only 147 words, below the 150-word minimum. To improve, give an accurate overview of the contrasting trends and check each sector’s figures against the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic sequence, using “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “To conclude,” and it attempts to group the sectors into sections. This gives the reader some sense of progression. However, the organisation does not support a clear comparison: retail and agriculture are combined despite following very different trends, while healthcare is described separately but inaccurately. The conclusion also repeats a claim rather than summarising the graph’s overall pattern. Some linking phrases feel mechanical, and the long spacing and inconsistent punctuation make the paragraphing difficult to follow. A clearer structure would use an introduction, a concise overview, and two body paragraphs grouping sectors by trend, with accurate comparisons within each group.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some relevant task vocabulary, including “decline,” “rose,” “million jobs,” and “sector,” so the topic is generally recognisable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or forms are inaccurate or awkward, such as “work forse,” “manufacturers” for the sector, “thealth care,” and “the list amongs.” Spelling errors such as “numer,” “begining,” and “continously” are noticeable and reduce precision. Phrases such as “rose significantly to 15 million at the same time” are also unclear as descriptions of the data. Use standard sector labels consistently and choose precise trend language, for example “employment in manufacturing peaked” or “healthcare employment increased steadily.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and more extended sentence forms, including “Although, as time went on we notice a decline…” and “which began with…”. However, control is uneven, and several sentences contain faulty structures or punctuation. For example, “Although” introduces a dependent clause without a complete main clause, while “the highest number of work forse goes to the manufacturers” has an awkward subject–verb construction. Tense shifts between “rose,” “we notice,” and “happens” also make the time description inconsistent. Commas are often missing after introductory words, and spacing around punctuation is inconsistent. Build clearer sentences with a consistent past tense for the historical data, and check that each subordinate clause is attached to a complete main clause.

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