Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The given line graph presents a information regarding the porportion of job in four different sector of the economy in the US between 1960 to 2020.

In 1960, in reatil sector nearly 2 million people inccluded . whiile, in healthcare sector 6 invloved . similarly, it increased the ration of people and reached around 16 M in 2020.

In manufacturing sector there were exactly 15 M people working and it rose 20 M in 1980. it decresed ration of people working in that same sector 13 M in 2020. Agriculture sector peolpe were like to work nearly 6 M people gr

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response identifies several relevant sectors and reports some figures, including manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and 20 million in 1980, followed by a fall to 13 million in 2020. However, key data are misread: retail was about 6 million in 1960, not 2 million, while healthcare was about 2 million, not 6 million. The account of agriculture is unfinished, and there is no clear overview of the main trends or comparison of how retail and healthcare grew to become the largest sectors by 2020. The response also falls short of the required 150 words, limiting the coverage and development of the summary. Check each series carefully and include a concise overview plus the main changes.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the information by sector, and phrases such as “In 1960” and “In manufacturing sector” help signal the topic of each sentence. However, the response has no overview paragraph, and the sequence does not give the reader a clear account of the graph’s main patterns. Linking is limited and sometimes awkward: “whiile” and “similarly” do not clearly show the relationship between the figures that follow. The final agriculture point breaks off at “gr,” leaving the response incomplete. Use a clear structure—introduction, overview, then grouped details—and connect comparisons explicitly, for example by contrasting manufacturing’s decline with the growth in retail and healthcare.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some task-relevant vocabulary, including “line graph,” “sector,” “increased,” “decreased,” and “reached,” so the reader can recognise that it describes employment trends. However, spelling and word-form errors are frequent, as in “porportion,” “reatil,” “inccluded,” and “decresed,” and several phrases are not natural or precise: “a information,” “ration of people,” and “people working in that same sector.” These choices sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to follow. Build accuracy with standard chart language such as “the number of jobs,” “employment rose,” and “employment fell,” and check spelling and collocations before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts some sentence variety, including a time clause in “in 1960” and a comparison of figures across years. However, grammatical control is weak and errors often obscure relationships between the data. Examples include “a information,” missing verbs in “nearly 2 million people included,” and the incomplete construction “it rose 20 M in 1980.” Tense and sentence boundaries are also inconsistent, as in “it decresed … 13 M in 2020,” while several clauses lack the articles or prepositions needed for a complete sentence. Practise writing short, complete comparisons with a clear subject and verb, such as “Manufacturing employment rose to 20 million in 1980, then fell to 13 million by 2020.”

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