Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in manufacturing,retail,agriculture and healthcare of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, it can be seen that the number of jobs in retail and healthcare increased, while those manufacturing and agriculture generally declined. However, manufacturing sectors initially rose before falling considerably.

Firstly, job secorts in retail and healthcare were 6 millions and 2 millions respectively.The proportion of reatail's scetor saw an upward movement, advancing from 6 millions in 1960 to 16 millions in 2020. In 1960, healthcare accounted 2 millions, while by 2020, this percentage had significantly increased to 16 millions.

Secondly, the number of job sectors in manufacturing and agriculture were 6 millions and 15 millions.Then, agriculture's rate gradually decrease, falling from 6 millions to 2millions in 2020. In the span of 1st 2 decades manufacturing's rate increased and reached 20 millions.Over the last 40-year period, this figures rate gradually declined, falling from 20 millions to 13 millions in 1980 to 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the broad contrast between the growing retail and healthcare sectors and the declining agriculture sector, and your overview also notes manufacturing’s rise before its fall. Several key figures are reported accurately, including retail and healthcare reaching 16 million jobs in 2020 and manufacturing peaking at 20 million. However, the account is only partly complete: the opening figures for manufacturing and agriculture are reversed in the second body paragraph, and the final manufacturing sentence gives an unclear time reference (“from 20 millions to 13 millions in 1980 to 2020”). The overview could also make the major comparison clearer: by 2020, retail and healthcare were joint leaders, while agriculture was lowest. More precise, consistently accurate comparisons would strengthen coverage of the main features.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview and two body paragraphs grouped by sector trends. “Overall,” “Firstly” and “Secondly” help signal the stages of the report. However, progression within the body paragraphs is not always clear: the second paragraph begins with manufacturing and agriculture figures in the wrong order, then moves between them without a consistently clear comparison. The closing manufacturing sentence is especially difficult to follow because “in 1980 to 2020” makes the period unclear. Some linking is mechanical, and the repeated use of “millions” does not help connect related data. Organise each paragraph around a clear comparison and use accurate time references to make the sequence easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant trend vocabulary, including “increased,” “declined,” “advancing” and “falling,” so the reader can generally understand the direction of change. However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for describing job totals. “Proportion” and “percentage” refer to shares rather than the number of jobs, while “rate” is also unsuitable here. There are noticeable spelling errors, such as “secorts,” “reatail” and “scetor,” and phrases such as “job sectors” and “this figures rate” are unclear. These issues make the report less precise. Use standard terms such as “number of jobs,” “employment” and “sector,” and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and more complex sentences, including the contrast in “Overall” and the time clause “while by 2020.” However, grammatical errors recur and sometimes make relationships between figures difficult to interpret. For example, “those manufacturing and agriculture” is missing a clear noun phrase, and “healthcare accounted 2 millions” needs a different verb pattern and article. There are also problems with plurals and agreement in “this figures rate,” as well as punctuation spacing and sentence boundaries, such as “respectively.The” and “millions.Then.” The final sentence has an unclear time construction. Practise accurate comparison structures and check articles, verb patterns, plurals and punctuation when editing.

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