Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line chart illustrates the employement figures in millions among four secotrs of US economy from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the healthcare and the retail sector showed significant growth. Manufacturing industry began as the most job provider but eventually dropped its position, Agriculture trend remained declining over the period.

The healthcare was the lowest employment creator. Started at 2 million jobs in 1960, reached to 5 million in 1980, climbed to nearly 16 million in 2020. The retail industry mirrored the healthcare. Retial was offering 6 million seats in 1960, with the gradual increase, it rose to 15 million in 2000, before it levelled off slighly to match with 16 million figure of healthcare eventually.

Conversely, manufacturing was offerning 15 million job in 1960 which was far more greater then any other sector. It peaked at 20 million in 1980 before starting declining continuously to a point of almost 13 million job in 2020. Agriculture went through a massive decrease from 6 million in 1960 to nearly 3 million in 1980, where it first leveled off and then cumulated with slight decrease to reach 2 million in2020

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You select the main trends and make relevant comparisons: manufacturing starts highest and then declines, while healthcare and retail rise, and agriculture falls. The overview is clear, and most figures are consistent with the chart, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million and agriculture’s fall to about 2 million. However, the overview slightly overstates the retail trend as significant growth without noting that it rises more gradually, and the description of retail “levelled off” is not quite accurate: it continues to increase from 15 million to 16 million between 2000 and 2020. Healthcare reaches about 16 million by 2020, matching retail. To strengthen the response, make comparisons across the final figures more precise and ensure each trend description reflects the data exactly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a summary of the main trends, and two detail paragraphs grouping the rising sectors and the declining sectors. Linking expressions such as “Overall” and “Conversely” help signal the organisation, and the reader can follow the timeline. This meets the lower-band expectation of a coherent arrangement and shows some of the flexibility associated with stronger cohesion. However, connections within sentences are occasionally awkward, particularly “with the gradual increase, it rose,” and the healthcare and retail descriptions repeat similar information rather than integrating their comparison smoothly. Use clearer sentence boundaries and more precise referencing, and group related figures in a way that avoids repetition while preserving the logical progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “peaked,” “declining,” “levelled off,” and “employment figures,” so the main trends are generally understandable. However, noticeable spelling and word-choice problems limit precision: “employement,” “secotrs,” “Retial,” and “offerning” are misspelled, while “seats” is unsuitable for jobs and “cumulated” does not describe a gradual fall. Some collocations are also unnatural, such as “most job provider” and “far more greater.” These choices can distract the reader even when the intended meaning is recoverable. Focus on accurate trend language and common collocations, and proofread spelling carefully; a smaller set of precise expressions is more effective than ambitious but inaccurate wording.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex forms, including time clauses and contrastive structures, as in “before starting declining continuously” and “where it first leveled off and then…”. However, errors occur across several sentence patterns and sometimes make relationships between ideas less clear. For example, “The healthcare was the lowest employment creator. Started at 2 million…” leaves the second sentence without a clear subject, while “manufacturing was offerning 15 million job” has problems with verb form and number. There are also issues with articles, prepositions, and punctuation, including “reached to 5 million” and the missing space in “in2020.” Work on complete sentence structures, consistent past-tense reporting, and accurate singular/plural forms. These corrections will make your varied sentences more reliable.

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