Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph illustrate the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, In US manufacturing was the highest in the proportion of the number of jobs in four sectors while, healthcare contributed the lowest among others.

First of all, manufacturing was the highest from the year 1960 till 2000 but, from 2000 it get a dramatic decline till 2020 and the number was about 14 millions. Moreover, retail was ranked second, in the 1960 it contributed about 5 millions and in year 1980 it got a significant increase till 2020 and become the highest sector in the economy.

on the other hand, the other two sector contributed the lowest the agriculture sector was the lowest in the year 1960 about 2 millions but, in year 1980 the number got changes till 2020 and it become the highest and same as retail. While, in starting year healthcare was the second highest but, after that it gain some serious decline and in the year 2020, it contributed the lowest about 2 millions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response identifies the four sectors and attempts an overview, but its central comparisons are substantially inaccurate, so it reports the graph only minimally. Manufacturing was the largest sector in 1960 and 1980, not throughout 1960–2000; by 2000 retail had fallen below manufacturing, and by 2020 retail and healthcare were joint leaders. The overview also reverses the healthcare trend: it rose from about 2 million jobs to 16 million, rather than declining to the lowest level. Agriculture fell overall, from about 6 million to 2 million, rather than becoming the highest. To improve, check each series against the graph and give an accurate overview of the main rises, falls and final rankings before adding selected figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some organisation: an opening and overview are followed by two body paragraphs, and phrases such as “Moreover” and “on the other hand” attempt to connect information. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the comparisons are grouped unclearly and several linking expressions do not show the intended relationship. For example, the agriculture and healthcare trends are combined in a long sentence, while “the number got changes” does not clarify what changed. Capitalisation is also inconsistent, as in “Overall, In US” and the lowercase “on the other hand.” Use one paragraph for manufacturing and retail and another for agriculture and healthcare, with clear time-based comparisons and accurate referencing.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response uses a minimally adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “manufacturing,” “retail,” “agriculture,” “healthcare,” “decline” and “increase.” Some attempts at more descriptive language, such as “significant increase” and “dramatic decline,” show awareness of how to describe trends. However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or repetitive: “highest in the proportion of the number of jobs” is unclear, “got changes” is not idiomatic, and “serious decline” misrepresents the healthcare trend. “Contributed” is also repeated where “employed” or “accounted for” would be more precise. Choose standard chart-description phrases and ensure that trend vocabulary matches the data.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and longer sentences, using time clauses and contrastive structures such as “but, from 2000…” and “While, in starting year…”. However, the longer constructions are often faulty, and frequent errors affect clarity. Examples include subject–verb agreement in “The graph illustrate,” incorrect verb forms in “it get” and “it gain,” and tense inconsistency in “it got a significant increase … and become.” Articles, plurals and sentence boundaries also need attention, as in “the other two sector” and the comma splice in “the lowest the agriculture sector.” Practise forming complete sentences with consistent past-tense verbs, correct agreement and punctuation, then check each sentence for a clear subject and main verb.

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