Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given graph illustrates the trend of jobs in four sectors of the economy in US for the time period betweeen [redacted phone].

Manufacturing had most number of jobs as compared to other sectors maintaing the trend till 1980 with having 20 million jobs, while retail and healthcare having the trend upwards since 1960 and roughly matching the same number of jobs as manufacturing in 2000 and surpassing manufacturing after 2000 and having same numbers by 2020. Agriculture seems downwards from 1960 till 1980, maintaining stability till 2000, then continues trend towrds declining.

Manufacturing had 15 million jobs in 1960 and an inclined trend to 20 million by 1980 and falling continuously to 13 million by 2020. Agriculture has 5 million jobs in 1960 and had that highest amount till 1980 and had a drop to 2 million till 2020.

Retail and health care had upward trend since 1960 while retail having numbers above healthcare, both surpassing the manufacturing after 2000 and having same numbers of job that is 16 million roughly.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the main broad patterns: manufacturing peaks in 1980 and then declines, agriculture falls, and retail and healthcare rise to similar levels by 2020. However, some comparisons are unclear or inaccurate. Retail and healthcare do not both surpass manufacturing after 2000: in 2000, retail is about 15 million and healthcare 11 million, compared with manufacturing at 17 million; by 2020, both reach about 16 million, above manufacturing at 13 million. Agriculture is about 6 million in 1960, not 5 million, and its highest level is not maintained until 1980, when it is about 3 million. The overview is present but needs more precise, carefully selected comparisons and clearer reporting of the data.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic structure, moving from an introduction and broad summary to details about manufacturing, agriculture, retail and healthcare. This gives the reader a general sense of the graph’s development. However, the progression is weakened by repeated information: the rising trends and the sectors’ similar 2020 figures are stated in both the overview and final paragraph. Several long sentences combine multiple comparisons, making relationships difficult to follow, especially the sentence beginning “while retail and healthcare having the trend upwards.” Use clearer paragraph roles—an overview followed by two focused detail paragraphs—and connect comparisons explicitly. This would create a more consistent progression rather than relying on repeated statements and loosely joined clauses.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “declining,” “falling,” “upward trend,” and “surpassing,” so the main changes are generally understandable. However, the range is limited and some phrases are awkward or imprecise, such as “had most number of jobs,” “maintaining the trend,” and “having same numbers of job.” Spelling errors such as “betweeen,” “maintaing,” and “towrds” also reduce accuracy. Choose more natural collocations for graph descriptions and vary the verbs used for changes. For example, describe a figure as “peaking at” a value, then “declining to” another, and say that two sectors “reached the same level” rather than “having same numbers.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt some longer sentences and use past-tense forms to describe the historical data, but control is uneven. Several clauses lack a complete or well-formed structure, as in “while retail and healthcare having the trend upwards” and “while retail having numbers above healthcare.” The opening also needs an article and a more accurate construction: “in US” should be “in the US,” and “for the time period between” is unnecessarily awkward. There are problems with agreement and number in “same numbers of job,” as well as punctuation where long clauses are joined without clear boundaries. Aim for a mix of concise sentences and controlled complex comparisons, checking that each clause has a subject and finite verb.

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