Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The given graph represents the information of economy in different jobs such as manufacturing, retails, agriculture and healthcare between 1960 to 2020 in US.

Overall, it can be seen that the highest profit gained by manufacturing throughout the years, while agriculture at the lowest point between 1960 to 2020.

Begin with manufacturing, earning was the 15 million in 1960 which was maximum between all four sectors by 1980,it steadily reached at peak point 20 millions. Moreover, it slightly declined below 15 million. Retails 's economy started from above 5 million, it smoothly raised with 15 million in 2000 while, by 2020, gradually increased more or less 15 millions.

Continue with healthcare, it started from approximately 2 million in 1960, it considerably growing with the passage of time and reached at peak level about 15 million. Meanwhile, agriculture grounded in 1980, remained constant from 1980 to 2000, by the 2020 slightly felled around 2 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the four sectors and give a broad account of their movement, including manufacturing’s rise to 1980 and subsequent decline, and agriculture’s overall fall. However, the overview contains a major factual error: manufacturing was not the highest throughout; by 2020, retail and healthcare were both at about 16 million, above manufacturing at 13 million. The report also misses this important convergence and the strong growth in healthcare and retail. Some figures are vague or inaccurate: manufacturing is said to fall “below 15 million” rather than to about 13, and healthcare reaches “about 15” rather than about 16. The response therefore covers the graph only partially, with key comparisons and trends under-reported. Make the overview accurate, then select and compare the main changes across the period.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and paragraphs describing the sectors. This makes the information reasonably easy to follow, and phrases such as “Moreover” and “Meanwhile” signal relationships between points. However, the progression is sometimes mechanical, and the grouping of sectors does not bring out the most useful comparisons. For example, manufacturing and retail are discussed together, but their contrasting trajectories could be stated more clearly; healthcare’s rise could also be compared directly with manufacturing’s decline. Some linking is awkward or unclear, particularly “Continue with healthcare,” and the final sentence compresses several stages into one. Use clearer topic sentences and connect related trends explicitly to improve the flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “declined,” “raised,” “remained constant,” and “reached at peak point.” This shows an attempt to vary language rather than repeat one verb. However, the range is limited and several choices or collocations are inaccurate, which makes parts of the report sound unnatural: “highest profit gained” does not describe job numbers, “agriculture grounded” is unclear, and “slightly felled” is not an appropriate trend expression. “Retails” is also not the correct sector label in this context. Aim for precise chart language such as “number of jobs,” “rose,” “fell,” and “levelled off,” and use these consistently. More accurate vocabulary would make your comparisons clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “while” and “which,” and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, errors in sentence construction and verb forms are frequent enough to make some statements difficult to read. For example, “it considerably growing” needs a finite verb (“it grew considerably”), while “earning was the 15 million” has an incorrect structure and article. Several sentences join independent clauses with commas, as in “it started from approximately 2 million in 1960, it considerably growing…”. There are also problems with articles, plurals, and punctuation, such as “20 millions” and inconsistent spacing around commas. Practise forming complete clauses and checking subject–verb patterns before adding complex links.

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