Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph illustrates information about amount of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, jobs in US been flutuate around all sectors of the economy by both years.

In 1960, Manufacturing jobs were the most around US approximately 15 million, whereas retail jobs roughly 11 million lesser then manufacturing within 6 million jobs. As, we move forward this numbers increased for both sectors such as 20 million jobs for manufacturing and 10 million for retail. Over the next few years were the worst for manufacturing as it significantly decreased to its lowest point at only 14 million jobs in 2020, whereas, retail jobs constantly increased and reached its final value of 16 million jobs in 2020.

In contrast, Agriculture job starts same as retail numbers of jobs but suddenly fall towards 3 million jobs in 1980, on other hand, healthcare jobs rised to around 5 million in 1980, from there it only got gradually increased and reached its last value of 16 million same as retail jobs, but healthcare jobs continuely fall and end at 3 million jobs in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response identifies several relevant trends, including manufacturing’s rise to a peak and subsequent decline, and the growth of retail and healthcare. However, the overview is too vague: “jobs in US been flutuate around all sectors” does not clearly summarise the main pattern. There are also important factual errors that weaken the report. Retail began at about 6 million, not 11 million; healthcare rose to 16 million by 2020, while agriculture fell to about 2 million, not 3 million. The claim that healthcare “continuely fall” directly contradicts its upward trend. To improve, give a clear overview of the contrasting trends and check each sector’s figures and direction against the graph before comparing them.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic paragraph structure: an introduction, an attempted overview, and two paragraphs covering the sectors. Linking expressions such as “In contrast” and “Over the next few years” help signal comparisons and time changes. However, progression is not consistently clear, partly because the overview is difficult to interpret and the final paragraph gives contradictory information about healthcare. Some links are awkward or inaccurate, including “As, we move forward” and “on other hand,” while long sentences combine several trends without clear separation. Organise the report around a concise overview followed by clearly grouped comparisons, and use linking phrases only where the relationship between ideas is precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some relevant vocabulary for describing data, including “increased,” “decreased,” “reached,” and “approximately.” This gives it a basic range for reporting trends. However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or repetitive, which sometimes makes the meaning unclear. For example, “amount of jobs” is less suitable than “number of jobs,” and “the worst for manufacturing” does not precisely describe a decline. There are also spelling errors such as “flutuate,” “rised,” and “continuely.” Build a more accurate set of trend expressions and check spelling and word forms; precise vocabulary is especially important when distinguishing a rise from a fall.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and longer sentences, including comparisons with “whereas” and “In contrast.” However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some relationships difficult to follow. Examples include “jobs in US been flutuate,” which lacks a correctly formed verb, and “Agriculture job starts,” where the tense and subject–verb agreement are incorrect. The sentence beginning “In contrast” also joins several clauses with unclear punctuation and structure. Articles and sentence boundaries need attention as well. Practise forming accurate past-tense statements about the chart, then combine them using controlled clauses; shorter, correct sentences would make the comparisons clearer.

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