Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in different sectors of US economy, over a period of sixty years.

Overall, only two sectors showed a surge while the rest had decreasing trend. The healthcare sector had dramatic increase out of others.

In the begining, in 1960, the healthcare department had almost 2.5 milllion jobs in US which increased gradually to 5 million in 1980. Thereafter, it evolved to 15 million at the end of 2020 making it highest employeed sector of US along retail. The retail sector showed similar trend in employement with 5.2 million in 1960 and increment upto 15 million in 2000, followed by pleateu till 2020 at 15.2 million jobs.

However, the manufacturing and agriculture sectors showed decline over the period. The agriculture started at 5.2 million jobs in 1960, fell to 2.5 and then followed by minor fluctuations for the rest of 40 years, resulting 2 million jobs in 2020. The manufacturing sector rose to 20 million jobs, the highest between other sectors, then had gradual fall and ended up at 13 million jobs in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response identifies the main contrast between the rising healthcare and retail figures and the declining agriculture and manufacturing figures, and it includes relevant comparisons and endpoint values. The overview is useful, but “only two sectors showed a surge while the rest had decreasing trend” is too broad: manufacturing first rose to 20 million before falling, and retail continued to increase rather than reaching a clear plateau. Some details are also inaccurate: healthcare is about 16 million in 2020, not 15 million, and retail rises from about 6 million in 1960 to 16 million in 2020. The account therefore covers the key features, but not all are reported precisely. A more exact overview and clearer description of the manufacturing peak and final retail/healthcare figures would strengthen it further.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The response is organised into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs, with the sectors grouped sensibly by their general trends. This gives the reader a clear route through the information. Linking expressions such as “Thereafter,” “However,” and “followed by” help show sequence and contrast, and the comparison of healthcare with retail is relevant. Some progression is less clear where the overview says the remaining sectors decreased, then the manufacturing paragraph explains that manufacturing initially rose. The healthcare and retail details are also combined in a long sentence, making the comparison harder to follow. Keep the same clear paragraph structure, but make the overview more nuanced and use shorter sentences to separate each sector’s key stages.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

There is an adequate range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “increased gradually,” “fell,” “decline,” and “minor fluctuations.” These choices generally make the data understandable, and the writer attempts more varied wording such as “surge” and “dramatic increase.” However, some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural: “evolved to” is not suitable for a figure, “highest employeed sector” is awkward, and “pleateu” is misspelled. Other spelling errors include “begining,” “milllion,” and “employement.” Use standard trend language consistently and check spelling and word forms; for example, describe a figure as “rose to” or “reached,” and use “employment” and “plateau.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and more complex sentence forms, including time clauses and contrasts, as in “Thereafter, it evolved…” and “However, the manufacturing and agriculture sectors showed decline…”. The main trends remain understandable despite some grammatical errors. Examples include the missing article in “different sectors of US economy,” the awkward construction “followed by minor fluctuations… resulting 2 million jobs,” and the incomplete comparison “the highest between other sectors.” There are also issues with articles and sentence structure in “making it highest employeed sector of US along retail.” Aim for complete, well-formed clauses: for instance, “resulting in a figure of 2 million” and “the highest figure among the four sectors.” More consistent control of these patterns would improve accuracy.

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