Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The given graph illustrates the trend of jobs of four sectors of the economy in US for the time period between [redacted phone].

Manufacturing had most employement in 1960 as comapred to others and had a raise in employment till 1980,afterwards the trend declined to 2020.Retail and healthcare continues to increase their employment ratio since 1960 and both the sectors had reached same number of employments by 2020 surpassing manufacturing.Agriculture had same number of employment as retail in 1960 and had a drop in 1980 and had stability between 1980 and 2000,the trend keeps declining till 2020

Manufacturing had 15 million jobs in 1960 and had a rose in jobs to 20 million by 1980 the job declined to 17 million in 2000 and by 2020 it declines to 13 million.Agriculture had 6 million jobs in 1960 and had a drop to 3 million in 1980 and had a stable employement till 2000 and by 2020 it was 2 million.

Retai also had 6 million jobs in 1960 and the trend keeps raising it had reached 10 million in 1980 and by 2000 it had 15 million close to manufacturing and had 16 million by 2020.Healthcare also had the same job trend graph as retail it had 2 million by 1960 and 5 million by 1980 and a massive change in 2000 it had 11 million and by 2020 both the retail and healthcare had same amount of employments.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You cover all four sectors and identify the main patterns: manufacturing peaks in 1980 before declining, retail and healthcare rise, and agriculture falls overall. The overview also notes that retail and healthcare reach the same level by 2020 and overtake manufacturing. Most figures are accurately reported, including manufacturing’s 15-to-20-to-17-to-13 million pattern and agriculture’s decline from 6 to 2 million. This gives the response a clear, relevant account of the graph. To make the report more fully developed, state the key endpoint comparison more precisely: in 2020, retail and healthcare are both about 16 million, ahead of manufacturing at 13 million. Also avoid saying healthcare has the “same job trend graph as retail,” since their starting values and rates of growth differ.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: it begins with a general summary, then describes manufacturing and agriculture, followed by retail and healthcare. This makes the main information reasonably easy to follow. However, the overview and the later detail repeat several points, especially the shared 2020 level of retail and healthcare and agriculture’s decline. Some links are also mechanical, with repeated use of “and” and “by 2020,” while the long overview sentence combines several trends without clear separation. Use distinct paragraphs for the overview and grouped details, and connect comparisons more deliberately—for example, contrast the two rising sectors with manufacturing’s decline. Clearer sentence boundaries would improve progression and reduce repetition.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “declined,” “stable,” “surpassing,” and “reached,” so the reader can understand the broad movements. However, the range is limited by repeated wording such as “jobs,” “employment,” “trend,” and “had,” and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural. For example, “employment ratio” does not describe the number of jobs shown, and “had a rose in jobs” is not a natural collocation. There are also spelling errors, including “employement,” “comapred,” and “Retai.” Aim for precise chart language and check spelling carefully. Alternatives such as “the number of jobs,” “increased,” and “remained stable” would make the account clearer and more idiomatic.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, and the sequence of past figures is generally understandable. However, some grammatical errors recur and occasionally make relationships between ideas less clear. For example, “Retail and healthcare continues” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “Manufacturing … had a rose” uses an incorrect verb form. Tense and sentence construction are also inconsistent in phrases such as “the trend keeps declining” and “it had reached 10 million … and by 2000 it had 15 million.” Several sentences run together without appropriate punctuation, particularly the overview. Use consistent past-tense reporting, check agreement, and divide long sentences into shorter clauses. These changes would improve accuracy while preserving your attempts at complex structures.

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