Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph breaks down the information about the numbers of jobs (in millions) in four different sectors of the US economy between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the trends of retail and healthcare experienced rose by the final year; however, the trends of agriculture (initially experienced rose) and manufacturing sectors experinenced decline by the final year. The numbers of retail and healthcare peaked their value in the final year; nevertheless, the trends of agriculture and manufacturing sectors reached their lowest value by the final year.

Initially, the trend (in millions) of retail was just over 5 million; in addition, the trend of healthcare was just over a million. Both witnessed an upward trend and peaked their value by the year 2020; for retail it was almost 15 millions and for healthcare it was same as retail.

However, the remaining sectors manufacturing and agriculture both recorded a decline by the year 2020. Initially, the trends of manufacturing was exactly 15 millions and followed up an increase to 20 millions by the year 1980; along with that, the numbers of jobs for agriculture sector was same as retail; however, both followed a decline by the final year. Manufacturing dropped from 15 millions to just over 10 millions; in addition, the numbers of agriculture dropped from just over 5 millions to just over a million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main broad contrast: retail and healthcare rise, while manufacturing and agriculture fall overall, and you include an overview as well as details. Several figures and comparisons are also accurate, such as manufacturing reaching 20 million in 1980 and agriculture starting at about 6 million. However, some details are unclear or inaccurate: healthcare begins at about 2 million, not “just over a million,” and manufacturing falls from 20 million in 1980 to about 13 million in 2020, rather than dropping from 15 million. The overview also says agriculture initially rose, although it declines from the start. To strengthen the response, report the key stages and turning points more precisely, including the convergence of retail and healthcare at around 16 million in 2020.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs grouping the rising and falling sectors. This gives the reader a generally coherent route through the information. However, progression is weakened by repeated and sometimes confusing linking, especially “however,” “in addition,” and “along with that.” The overview’s contrast between trends that “experienced rose” and those that “experienced decline” is difficult to follow, and the final paragraph repeats the initial values without clearly organising the later changes. Use more direct comparisons and clearer references—for example, group the two rising sectors together and then compare their final figures, before describing the manufacturing peak and agriculture’s steady decline. This would make cohesion less mechanical and the sequence easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “line graph,” “sectors,” “upward trend,” “decline,” and “peaked,” so the reader can understand the general subject and direction of change. However, the range is limited by repeated use of “trend” and “numbers,” and several combinations are unnatural or imprecise: “trends … experienced rose,” “peaked their value,” and “followed up an increase.” There is also a spelling error in “experinenced.” Choose verbs that describe the data directly, such as “rose,” “fell,” “reached a peak,” and “stood at,” rather than repeatedly referring to a trend. More precise vocabulary for movement and comparison would make the report clearer and more natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, using clauses linked by “however,” “in addition,” and “along with that.” The overall meaning is usually recoverable, but some grammatical errors make individual statements awkward or unclear. For example, “the trends of retail and healthcare experienced rose” has an incorrect verb construction; “the numbers of manufacturing was” has subject–verb disagreement; and “for healthcare it was same as retail” is missing an article and has an unclear reference. Plural forms are also inconsistent in phrases such as “15 millions.” Work on accurate subject–verb agreement, articles, and sentence patterns for describing figures. Shorter, well-controlled sentences would help you retain variety without these errors.

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