Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graphillustrates the data about the number of jobs in four parts of the economy in the america between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the jobs of manufacturers follows the downward trend back in 2020.Whereas, the opportunities of health care workers shows upward trend in 2020.Healthcarers increases sharply from 1980 to 2020.

In 1960, the jobs of manufacturers increases gradually from 15 millions jobs to 20 millions jobs.Wheather from 1980 to 2020, manfacturers job decreases from 20 millions job to approximately 13 millions jobs.Retailers in 1960 to 2000, nearly 6 millions jobs to 15 jobs in millions.From 2000 to 2020, 15 millions jobs increases slowly to round about 16 millions jobs.

About jobs of agricultures, from 1960 to 1980, aproximately 6 millions jobs to roughly 3 millions jobs. While from 1980 to 2020,it remained constant from round about 3 millions jobs to 2 millions jobs. Moreover, from 1960 to 1980, the health care workers increases jobs from nearly 3 millions jobs to 5 millions jobs. From 1980 to 2020, jobs sharply increases from 5 millions in jobs to round about 16 millions jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the four sectors and include an overview contrasting the decline in manufacturing with growth in healthcare. You also report several relevant figures, such as manufacturing rising to 20 million in 1980 and falling to about 13 million by 2020. However, the overview is incomplete: it omits the strong rise in retail and the fact that retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million jobs in 2020, while agriculture remains the smallest sector. Some details are inaccurate or unclear: manufacturing rises from 15 to 20 million rather than simply following a downward trend, and healthcare starts at about 2 million in 1960, not nearly 3 million. Select the main comparisons more clearly and describe each trend accurately.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic structure, with an introduction, an overview, and paragraphs describing the sectors. This gives the reader some sense of how the information is organised. However, progression within the detail is uneven: manufacturing and retail are discussed together, then agriculture and healthcare, but the comparisons between sectors are not developed. Several transitions are awkward or incomplete, including “Wheather from 1980 to 2020” and “While from 1980 to 2020,” and the repeated use of “from…to…” makes the account feel list-like. Use clearer topic sentences and link related trends—for example, compare the growth of retail and healthcare—while ensuring each sentence has a clear connection to the previous one.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “downward trend,” “increases sharply,” “decreases,” and “remained constant.” However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural, which sometimes makes the meaning harder to follow. Examples include “jobs of manufacturers” for manufacturing employment, “opportunities of health care workers,” and “jobs of agricultures.” There are also spelling errors such as “Wheather,” “manfacturers,” and “aproximately.” Aim for precise sector names and natural collocations, and check spelling carefully. Repeating “jobs” and “millions” so often also limits variety; terms such as “employment” and “the figure” can help make the description more concise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, but control is inconsistent, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to interpret. Subject–verb agreement is a recurring issue: “the jobs of manufacturers follows” and “health care workers shows” should use plural verbs, while “the health care workers increases” also has an incorrect subject–verb pattern. Tense and sentence construction are problematic in “In 1960, the jobs of manufacturers increases gradually,” and some fragments, such as “Retailers in 1960 to 2000,” lack a complete clause. Articles, plurals, and punctuation also need attention. Practise writing complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, then check agreement and tense.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.