Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the insights about the figure of occupation in four different sectors which were manufacturing, retail, agriculture,. and healthcare of the economy in the United stat of America from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is evident that in the beginning the manufacturing sector was top on the chart. However, healthcare sector was least on the chart. Moreover, not only retail but also agriculture sectors stood at same position.
In 1960, manufacturing sector followed upward trend at 15 million economy between 1960 and 1980 then it decreased dramatically over the period and reached almost 16 million economy till the end of 2020. However, in 1960, healthcare sector was least in the graph with only 2 or 3 million economy then it experienced substantial growth and it reached the highest amount around million economy.
Furthermore, in the beginning of the 1960 both retail and agriculture sectors stood with same position approximately 6 million economy and then agriculture sector's economy dropped dramatically till the 1980 at 3 million and then stable at 2020.
Whereas, retail sector's economy climbed and then reached same as healthcare sector around 16 million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
You identify the main broad patterns: manufacturing starts highest and later declines, while healthcare and retail rise, and agriculture falls. However, several key details are inaccurate or incomplete. Manufacturing peaks at 20 million in 1980, then falls to 13 million by 2020; your account says it reaches “almost 16 million” at the end. The healthcare description omits its final figure (“around million”) and does not clearly state that it reaches 16 million in 2020, jointly highest with retail. The overview also calls agriculture and retail equal without specifying that this applies only in 1960. Select the main turning points and give accurate endpoint comparisons to make the summary more complete and clear.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview and separate paragraphs describing the trends. This gives the reader a basic route through the information. However, progression within the detail paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the manufacturing sentence begins “In 1960” but then combines the 1960–1980 rise with the later decline, and the healthcare sentence ends with a missing figure. Linking words such as “However,” “Moreover,” and “Furthermore” are used, but some connections feel mechanical or do not clearly signal the relationship between the data. Organise each paragraph around a clear comparison or time sequence, and use references such as “by 1980” and “by the end of the period” to make the timeline easier to follow.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use some relevant trend vocabulary, including “upward trend,” “decreased dramatically,” “substantial growth,” and “stable,” so the reader can generally recognise the intended movements. However, the range is limited by repeated and imprecise phrases such as “million economy,” “stood at same position,” and “highest amount.” Several choices do not fit the chart context: “insights about the figure of occupation” is an awkward way to introduce job numbers, while “top on the chart” is informal and vague. There are also spelling and word-form problems, including “United stat.” Use standard collocations for data reporting, such as “the number of jobs,” “stood at the same level,” and “rose to,” and check spelling carefully.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You attempt a mixture of simple statements and longer sentences with contrast, for example, “However, healthcare sector was least on the chart” and the sentence beginning “Whereas, retail sector’s economy climbed.” This shows some effort to connect ideas, but control is uneven. Articles are often missing (“the manufacturing sector,” “the healthcare sector”), and the manufacturing sentence has an unclear structure: “manufacturing sector followed upward trend at 15 million economy between 1960 and 1980.” The final healthcare clause is incomplete because no figure follows “around.” Punctuation also disrupts the opening list, with an unnecessary comma after “agriculture.” Build accurate sentences around a clear subject, verb and figure, and check articles, tense consistency and sentence boundaries.
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