Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph illustrated information about number of emlopyments in four sectors of economy in the US over a time period of 60 years.

Overall, retail and healthcare showed sustantial growth, manufacturing declined after peaking in 1980 and the fewest jobs were present in agriculture.

In the year 1960, retail started with 6 million jobs and showed considerable growth in 1980 moved upward to 10 million, it rose to 15 million in 2000 before reaching to 16 million in 2020 . Retail followed the same trend starting with just 2 million, it rose to 5 million in 1980 and 12 million in 2000 before reaching to 16 million in 2020.

The other two sectors that showed a downward trend, manufacturing had 15 million jobs in 1960, its figure peaked in 1980 and reached 20 million. however, it subsequently declined to 17 million in 2000 and 13 million in 2020. Agriculture overall showed a downward trend started in 1960 at 6 million, its numbers decreased to 3 million in 1980, it reamined plateaued in 2000 before further dropping to 2 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main overall patterns: retail and healthcare rise, manufacturing peaks in 1980 and then falls, and agriculture remains the smallest sector. The response also includes relevant figures for all four sectors, and most match the chart. This gives a clear account of the key trends. However, the overview could make the comparison more precise by noting that retail and healthcare both finish at about 16 million, while manufacturing remains the largest sector until 2000. There is also one notable data inaccuracy: healthcare is reported at 12 million in 2000, whereas the chart shows about 11 million. The description is therefore well focused, but some comparisons and details are less fully developed or precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall structure: an introduction, a brief overview, and two body paragraphs grouping the rising sectors and the declining sectors. This makes the main trends easy to follow. Some linking and referencing, however, are unclear or mechanical. In particular, “Retail followed the same trend” incorrectly refers to healthcare, so the reader has to infer which sector is being described. The long sentence beginning “In the year 1960” also strings several time points together, and the transition to manufacturing with “The other two sectors” is awkward because the paragraph then discusses agriculture as well. Use clearer topic sentences and separate the series into more controlled sentences to improve progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of trend vocabulary, including “substantial growth,” “peaking,” “declined,” “downward trend,” and “plateaued.” These choices help communicate changes over time, although some are not used naturally or precisely: “Retail followed the same trend” names the wrong sector, and “reaching to 16 million” is an awkward collocation. Spelling errors such as “emlopyments,” “sustantial,” and “reamined” are noticeable, as is the imprecise phrase “number of employments.” The vocabulary is sufficient to describe the graph, but spelling, word form, and collocation errors limit precision. Proofreading and choosing standard chart language would make the description clearer and more fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses linked with “before” and “however,” and the overall meaning is generally understandable. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly in sentence boundaries and clause construction. For example, “In the year 1960, retail started with 6 million jobs and showed considerable growth in 1980 moved upward to 10 million” joins several ideas without a clear grammatical structure. “Agriculture overall showed a downward trend started in 1960” also needs a linking structure, such as “with the figure starting at…”. Capitalisation after a full stop is inconsistent in “however,” and punctuation around the final year values is uneven. Aim for shorter, complete sentences while retaining a mix of structures.

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