Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the level of employment in four sectors ( manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare) of the economy in US from 1860 to 2020. Units are measured in millions.

Overall, healthcare and retail sectors experienced a upward trend in the jobs market in US, whereas agriculture sector showed a significant decline over the period given. Furthermore, Manufacturing sectors was one of the biggest employment sectors which recorded slight decline at the end of the period.

Manufacturing sectors accounted for largest shares in job market starting at 15 millions, and rocketed in the year 1980 reaching 20 millions. This figure witnessed a slight decline throughtout the period and had a decline at 14 million in 2020. Agriculture sector contributed around 6 million jobs in the initial year and had a gradual reduction in job market around 2 millions becoming the lowest contributor at the end of the year.

On the other hand, retail secotor made up around 2 million in1960 being the smallest sector among four industry. It rose gradually and peaked at 16 million in 2020. Similarly, retail sector started also started from lowest job market starting at just around 6 million in 1960 and it had a significant increase over the period and this sector rocketed over 16 million at the final year.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify the broad pattern that retail and healthcare employment rose while agriculture declined, and you report several relevant figures, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million and agriculture’s fall from about 6 million to 2 million. However, the account only partially covers the graph: healthcare is mentioned in the overview but its figures and strong rise from 2 to 16 million are not described in the body. There is also a major misreading: retail began at about 6 million, not 2 million; the 2-million starting figure belongs to healthcare. The overview could more clearly compare the sectors at the end, when retail and healthcare were joint leaders. Select and accurately explain the main trends for all four sectors.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview and two detail paragraphs, and basic linking phrases such as “Overall” and “On the other hand” help signal relationships. However, progression is weakened by repetition and unclear organisation. The final paragraph first describes retail as starting at 2 million, then repeats that it started at 6 million; it also says “Similarly” even though the repeated point is not a separate comparison. Healthcare, meanwhile, is absent from the detailed account. Grouping the two rising sectors together and the two declining or fluctuating sectors together would create a clearer progression. Use each paragraph to add distinct information, and check that pronouns and linking expressions accurately connect the ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonably varied set of terms for describing trends, including “significant decline,” “gradual reduction,” “peaked” and “rocketed.” This gives the report some flexibility, although several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for a data summary. “Rocketted” overstates the manufacturing rise, while “shares in job market” and “lowest contributor” are awkward descriptions of job totals. There are also spelling errors such as “secotor” and “throughtout,” and “sector” is sometimes used where “sectors” is needed. Prefer precise, neutral collocations such as “the number of jobs rose,” “employment fell,” and “accounted for the largest number of jobs.” This would make the vocabulary more accurate and consistently appropriate to the task.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple and more complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “whereas” and “which,” and the overall meaning is usually understandable. However, errors recur in agreement, articles, plurals and sentence construction. For example, “a upward trend” should be “an upward trend,” “Manufacturing sectors was” has a subject–verb agreement problem, and “15 millions” should use the singular unit “million.” The phrase “retail sector started also started” contains an unnecessary repeated verb, while “in the initial year” and “at the end of the year” do not consistently express the graph’s time period. Review sentence subjects and verb forms, use articles and number forms accurately, and proofread for duplicated words. More controlled complex sentences would also improve clarity.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.