Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph demonstrates the information about the number of vacancies in four feilds of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the number of jobs in manufacturing industry boost at start but face decline in it later. Healthcare jobs are rising and shows a sharp increase.

In 1960, the number of jobs in healthcare were less than 2.5 millions and it had least number of jobs with respect to other three sectors at that time. It increased in next twenty years and reached to the level of 5 millions. In 2000, its number of jobs was more than double and it reached above 15 millions in 2020. Jobs in retail sector and agriculture field was more than 5 millions in 1960 but retail jobs was constantly increasing in next forty years. In 2000, retail jobs was almost 15 milions and slightly increased in next twenty years. From 1960 to 1980, agriculture jobs have been declined and remained constant in next twenty years. Agriculture vacancies have been slightly reduced in between 2000 and 2020. Manufacturing jobs constantly increased and reached the level of 20 millions which is the highest leve. But in next years its jobs have been decreased and reached below 15 millions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You cover all four sectors and identify the main broad patterns: manufacturing rises before falling, healthcare grows, retail increases, and agriculture declines. The overview is relevant, and several figures are reported accurately, including manufacturing’s peak at 20 million and retail at about 15 million in 2000. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear: healthcare reaches about 11 million in 2000, not above 15 million, and retail rises to around 16 million by 2020. The statement that retail and agriculture were both “more than 5 millions” is imprecise, while the comparison of healthcare with the other sectors in 1960 is useful. This covers the task well overall, but greater accuracy and fuller comparison of the ending figures would strengthen the report.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview, and a body paragraph that moves through the sectors. Time markers such as “In 1960,” “In 2000,” and “in next twenty years” help readers follow the chronology. However, the body shifts between healthcare, retail, agriculture, and manufacturing without clear grouping, so comparisons are harder to track. Some links are also repetitive or awkward, particularly the repeated use of “In 2000” and “next twenty years.” Consider grouping the rising sectors together and then contrasting them with agriculture and manufacturing, using clearer transitions such as “By contrast” and “Meanwhile.” This would create a more consistent progression and make relationships between trends easier to understand.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “increased,” “decline,” “reached,” and “remained constant,” so the main information is generally understandable. However, the range is limited and some choices are inaccurate or unnatural: “vacancies” does not precisely describe the graph’s number of jobs, “boost” is not the right verb for a trend here, and “jobs was” reflects an awkward phrase as well as a form issue. There are also spelling errors such as “feilds,” “milions,” and “leve.” Use standard chart language consistently, for example “employment,” “rose,” “fell,” and “stood at.” More precise vocabulary and careful spelling would make the report clearer and more appropriate for an academic summary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses linked with “but” and time expressions, and the overall meaning can usually be followed. However, errors in agreement, tense, articles, and sentence construction recur. For example, “Healthcare jobs are rising and shows” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “the number of jobs … were” should use a singular verb. “Retail jobs was constantly increasing” also has agreement errors, and “reached to the level” uses an unnecessary preposition. Tense choices shift between past and present when describing completed historical data. Aim to use the past simple consistently and check subject–verb agreement, especially with singular “number” and plural “jobs.” These corrections would improve accuracy while retaining your sentence variety.

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