Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

This graph illustrates the number of jobs in four economic fields in US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, The retail and healthcare jobs increased with the passage of time but there's fall in the job market of manufacturing and agreiculture.

In 1960, There's a 15 million jobs in manufacturing which increased to 20 million in 1980, However after that number fall to 13 million in 2020.

In agriculture, Around 6 million jobs in 1960 which kept on decreasing to as low as 2 million vanacies in 2020.

However, In retail bussinesses there was around 6 million jobs in 1960 which rised to 16 million in 2020.

In healthcare sector US increased there job market significantly which is only 2 million in 1960 which increased to 5 million in 1980, Moreover it kept increasing to 16 million jobs in 2020.

As we can clearly see that healthcare is the one sector where US focused most.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You cover all four sectors and give a clear overall picture: retail and healthcare rise, while manufacturing and agriculture decline overall. The manufacturing figures (15 million in 1960, peaking at 20 million in 1980, then falling to 13 million) and the healthcare rise from 2 to 16 million are accurately reported. This level of detail, together with the overview, shows good coverage of the main features. To make the account more complete, include the important comparison that retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million by 2020, and note that healthcare overtakes manufacturing by 2000. The final claim that the US “focused most” on healthcare is not supported by the graph, which shows job numbers rather than policy priorities; replace it with a data-based comparison.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable progression: an introduction and overview are followed by details for each sector, so the reader can follow the main trends. Linking expressions such as “Overall,” “However,” and “Moreover” help connect points. However, the repeated use of “However” does not always signal a clear contrast, and the final sentence repeats a conclusion rather than adding a relevant comparison. Some links between details are also missing—for example, the retail and healthcare figures could be grouped to show how both reached similar levels by 2020. Organising the body into two comparison-based paragraphs, such as rising sectors and declining sectors, would make the progression more deliberate and cohesion less mechanical.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic vocabulary to describe the graph, including “increased,” “decreasing,” “sector,” and “million jobs,” and the main meaning remains clear. There is some attempt at more descriptive wording, such as “kept on decreasing” and “increased significantly,” but several choices are inaccurate or informal for an academic report. “Vacancies” does not mean the total number of jobs, while “focused most” suggests a policy decision that the graph cannot establish. Spelling errors such as “agreiculture” and “bussinesses,” along with the awkward phrase “there job market,” reduce precision. Aim for accurate trend language and standard collocations, such as “employment in healthcare rose” and “the number of jobs fell.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple statements and longer sentences, including clauses linked with “which” and “but,” and the overall message is generally understandable. However, some sentence structures are incomplete or inaccurate: “In agriculture, Around 6 million jobs in 1960” lacks a main verb, and “there's fall” needs an article and a more suitable verb construction. There are also errors in agreement and tense, as in “US increased there job market,” and inconsistent capitalisation after commas and at the start of clauses. Use complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check articles, agreement, and punctuation. For example: “Agricultural employment stood at around six million in 1960 and fell to two million by 2020.”

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