Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

This is a visual representation of a graph which shows statistical graph of four sectors in the US economy during[redacted phone]. The time frame is shown in years on the x-axis and and jobs in millions on the y-axis.

Initially, let us start with the data shown by the manufacturing sector. During, the year 1960, the jobs were 16 millions which took a sharp rise to a record 20 million in 1980 which no other sector touched during the given period. From 1980 however, there was a fall in demand of jobs to around 17 million in 2000s which later got even low in 2020 to 13 million jobs.

Secondly, the retail sector looks very promising in terms of growth as we can see in 1960 there were 6 million jobs which boomed to 10 million in 1980. In the next 20 years we can see a 50 percent sharp rise to 15 million jobs in 2000. However, the growth was not stagnant but dropped partially which shows the jobs in millions increased by 1 million in the next 20 years until 2020.

To mention our third sector, which is the agriculture sector, this sector has similarities with the retail sector as both started with 5 million jobs in 1960, however the growth was inverse in agriculture sector as it took a sharp decline in jobs in 1980 to 3 millions.For the next 20 years we saw a constant rate of jobs with zero changes till 2020. Nevertheless, it ultimately declined to 2 million jobs in 2020 showcasing the highest decline in 2020.

Lastly, the fourth sector is healthcare which generated some very promising results in demands of jobs over the years. Although, it started its journey with lowest number of jobs around 2 million in 1960, it reach to 5 million in 1980. During the period from [redacted phone] we can see a growth and change in demand with a terrific growth over 120 percent and reached 11 millions from 5 millions. The growth rate in this industry kept it's pace and composure and in 2020 the jobs in million reached to 16 million matching the retail sector.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You cover all four sectors and report several important movements, including manufacturing’s peak in 1980, retail’s overall rise, agriculture’s decline, and healthcare’s growth to 16 million. However, the overview is not clearly stated, and some comparisons or figures are inaccurate: agriculture began at 6 million, not 5 million, and its jobs fell from 3 million in 2000 to 2 million in 2020, rather than remaining constant until 2020. The claim that agriculture had the “highest decline in 2020” is also not supported. Some descriptions, such as retail’s “promising” growth, are evaluative rather than analytical. A concise overview of the main contrasts, followed by accurate comparisons, would make the response more complete and focused.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response is arranged in a clear sequence, with separate paragraphs for manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare. This makes the information easy to locate, and time markers such as “In the next 20 years” help show progression. However, the organisation is somewhat mechanical: “Initially,” “Secondly,” “To mention our third sector” and “Lastly” repeatedly announce each paragraph rather than showing relationships between trends. There is also no distinct overview to guide the reader before the detailed account. Some linking is unclear, as in “However, the growth was not stagnant but dropped partially,” which then says jobs increased. Grouping sectors by contrasting patterns and using more precise links would improve the flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a reasonable range of vocabulary to describe change, including “sharp rise,” “decline,” “constant rate” and “matching.” These choices generally communicate the trends, and the response also attempts more specific language such as “50 percent” and “terrific growth.” However, some expressions are imprecise or unnatural for a factual report: “boomed,” “promising results in demands of jobs,” and “kept it’s pace and composure” sound informal or awkward. “The growth was not stagnant but dropped partially” is also an unclear choice of wording. Aim for neutral, precise terms such as “increased,” “fell slightly” and “continued to rise.” Check spelling and forms, including “its” rather than “it’s.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “which,” “however” and “although,” and the main trends are usually understandable. Some grammatical errors remain, but they rarely prevent the reader from following the account. Examples include “during1960-2020,” “the jobs were 16 millions,” and “it reach to 5 million”; these need spacing, a singular unit after a number, and the past-tense form “reached.” There are also punctuation and sentence-boundary problems, such as “3 millions.For” and the comma after “During” in “During, the year 1960.” Review agreement, verb forms, plurals and punctuation, while keeping the varied sentence structures you already attempt.

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