Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph depict the different jobs in the four distinctive sectors, namely manufacturing, retial,agriculture and healthcare in the US economy for the period from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, manufacturing recroded the highest job for the most of the period, while agriculture remained the least preferred job in the US. In addition, both retail and healhcare experienced significiant growth despite some fluctuations.

In 1980, manufacturing job was recorded over 20 millions, whereas agriculture show the lowest figuers at around two and half millions. Agriculture jobs was declined slightly from the period mid 1980 which remained constant untill 2020. Furthermore, manufacturing jobs were witnessed a substantial contraction perion between 2000 to 2020, and the which was dipped to around five millions in the year 2020.

In additions to this, retail jobs were increased dramatically throught the period from 1980 to 2020 which constitued for approximately 16 million. On the other hand, healthcare jobs were recorded with least jobs in initially, however there was a noticeable incresed with the time of period year 1980 to to 2020 which were stood at same place retail jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the four sectors and provide an overview that recognises agriculture as the smallest category and growth in retail and healthcare. However, several key figures and trends are inaccurate, which limits how fully the graph is reported. Manufacturing peaked at about 20 million in 1980, but the response says it was “over 20 millions”; more seriously, it claims manufacturing fell to around five million in 2020, when it was about 13 million. Agriculture was about six million in 1960, fell to three million by 1980, then declined to two million by 2020—not a slight fall beginning in the mid-1980s. Include the starting values and describe the main crossings and end-point comparisons accurately to make the summary more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable four-paragraph structure: an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs. This gives the information an overall arrangement, and connectors such as “Overall,” “Furthermore,” and “On the other hand” help signal relationships. However, progression within the detail paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow because dates and comparisons are not consistently organised. For example, the agriculture account moves from 1980 to an unclear “period mid 1980” and then to 2020, while the final paragraph shifts between retail and healthcare without clearly comparing their trajectories. Some linking phrases also feel mechanical or inaccurate, such as “In additions to this.” Grouping the series by their trends and using clear time references would improve cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of task-related vocabulary, including “substantial contraction,” “noticeable,” and “dramatically,” and the reader can generally identify the sectors and trends being discussed. However, control is limited by frequent spelling errors and imprecise or unnatural collocations. Examples include “retial,” “recroded,” “significiant,” and “constitued,” as well as “least preferred job,” which is not an appropriate way to describe the smallest employment sector. Phrases such as “jobs were witnessed a substantial contraction” and “stood at same place retail jobs” also make the intended meaning less clear. Aim for accurate, conventional chart language—such as “the number of jobs fell” or “reached the same level”—and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and attempts at longer, connected sentences, including clauses introduced by “while,” “whereas,” and “however.” Nevertheless, errors are frequent, and several sentence patterns are faulty enough to make relationships unclear. For example, “manufacturing job was recorded over 20 millions” has problems with the article, number agreement, and plural form; “Agriculture jobs was declined” uses an incorrect verb construction; and “manufacturing jobs were witnessed a substantial contraction” has an incorrect passive pattern. The final sentence also contains a confusing structure: “which were stood at same place retail jobs.” Practise forming accurate comparisons with a clear subject and verb, and check articles, agreement, tense, and sentence boundaries.

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