Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The main features are manufacturing,retail,agriculture and healthcare.To start with , the manufacturing jobs were at peak in1980 and than gradurally slows down in 2020 .This is the highest jobs in miilions in tthe economy of US .On the other side ,agriculture jobs gradually decreasing from 1960 to 2020.Morever ,the healthcare jobs also increasing in 2020 ,in the start there is no scope of healthcare field in 1960.Furthermore, the retail job also in millions in 2020. so the result is the agriculture jobs are more effectively than other three sectors of economy jobs in the US fron 1960 to 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5
You identify all four sectors and mention some relevant broad trends, including manufacturing peaking in 1980 and agriculture declining. However, the report is very incomplete and contains major misinterpretations: healthcare did not have “no scope” in 1960, as it already had about 2 million jobs, and agriculture was not more significant than the other sectors by 2020. Retail and healthcare both reached about 16 million, while agriculture fell to about 2 million. The overview is unclear, and most figures and comparisons are missing. The response also falls 51 words short of the required minimum, leaving too little space to summarise the main features adequately. Include a clear overview and accurate comparisons across the period.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The response has a basic sequence, moving through manufacturing, agriculture, healthcare and retail, and linking phrases such as “To start with,” “On the other side,” and “Furthermore” show an attempt to connect ideas. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the sectors are discussed in separate fragments without a clear overview or organised comparison. Some links are also illogical: “so the result is” introduces a conclusion that contradicts the chart, rather than summarising the trends. There is no paragraphing to distinguish an overview from supporting details. Grouping the sectors by their trends—for example, rising sectors versus declining ones—and using clear paragraph breaks would make the report easier to follow.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “manufacturing,” “agriculture,” “healthcare,” “peak,” and “gradually decreasing,” so the reader can recognise the topic and intended trends. However, the range is limited, and several inaccurate or misspelled expressions make the meaning less clear, such as “no scope,” “more effectively,” and “in miilions.” “Jobs” is also repeated without more precise alternatives such as employment or the number of workers. Choose vocabulary that describes chart data accurately, including terms for rises, falls, peaks and approximate figures. Check spelling carefully and avoid phrases that express an opinion or evaluation when the task requires a factual summary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt to form connected sentences and use past-tense descriptions, as in “the manufacturing jobs were at peak in 1980.” However, the range of sentence structures is limited, and errors in verb forms, articles and sentence construction occur frequently enough to make some statements difficult to interpret. For example, “the healthcare jobs also increasing in 2020” lacks an auxiliary verb, while “the retail job also in millions in 2020” has no finite verb. The opening and final sentences also have unclear grammatical relationships between their clauses. Practise complete subject–verb sentences, consistent past-tense reporting, and accurate use of articles and plurals. Clearer sentence boundaries and punctuation will also help.
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