Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph describe the information about the millions number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 60 years 1960 to 2020. Below I decribe the graph in a very easy way.

Frist, we discuss the graph. This graph have 4 main features first one is manufacturing, second one is retailn, third one is agriculture and the last one is healthcare. Now and the left side og graph this describe zero to 25 millions jobs. Moreover, bottom of the graph this graph have 80 years covers.

Now, we discuss the graph lines. Manufacturing jobs is a huge numbers of jobs this is 15 million in 1960 and the 20 millions in 1980 and I see in 2000 this is a minor downfall of manufacturing this is 17 millions and I see after 20 years again downfall in 2020 this is only 13 millions of jobs. Second one is retail this is only 6 millions in 1960 and the 1980 this is a 10 millions and the 2000 this is a huge numbers of up this is 15 millions and the 2020 this is 16 millions. Now, third one is agriculture this only 6 millions and the 1980 this is 3 millions and the same numbers in 2000 and the 2.5 million in 2020. Moreover, the last one is healthcare this is only 2 million in 1960 and the 5 millions in 1980 and the 11 millions in 2000 and this is 16 millions in 2020 and I see this is huge difference is healthcare in 1960 this is only 2 millions and 2020 this is 16 millions this is a huge difference.

I describe the whole paragraph in a very easy and decent way.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You report figures for all four sectors and identify several important movements, including manufacturing peaking at 20 million in 1980 before declining, and healthcare rising from 2 million to 16 million. Most figures are consistent with the graph, although agriculture is given as 2.5 million in 2020 rather than approximately 2 million. The main limitation is that there is no clear, concise overview of the dominant patterns or final comparison: retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million in 2020, while agriculture remains the smallest sector. The opening and closing comments about describing the graph add little task-relevant information. Select the key trends and comparisons, and state them clearly in an overview before giving supporting figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic sequence: an introduction, a discussion of the chart, and descriptions of the four sectors. This makes the information possible to follow, and phrases such as “Second one” and “Moreover” signal some connections. However, progression is often mechanical, with repeated openings such as “Now, we discuss the graph” and “this is,” rather than clear links between related trends. The long final paragraph combines all four series, making comparisons harder to see, and the closing sentence repeats that the graph has been described instead of summarising its main message. Use separate, logically grouped paragraphs—for example, declining versus rising sectors—and connect figures through direct comparisons.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use relevant chart vocabulary, including “downfall,” “millions,” and sector names, so the reader can generally understand the subject. However, the range is basic and repetitive, and several word choices or collocations are unnatural: “the millions number of jobs,” “a huge numbers of up,” and “a minor downfall.” There are also spelling errors such as “decribe,” “Frist,” and “retailn,” which reduce accuracy. Aim for precise trend language and avoid repeatedly calling changes “huge.” For example, describe a figure as rising, falling, remaining stable, or reaching a peak, and use “number of jobs” rather than “millions number of jobs.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response communicates the general direction of most trends, but sentence structures are limited and errors occur frequently. Subject–verb agreement is often incorrect, as in “The graph describe” and “This graph have”; articles and number forms are also unreliable in phrases such as “a 10 millions.” Several sentences are joined with “and” without clear punctuation, creating run-ons, particularly in the descriptions of retail and healthcare. The repeated pattern “this is” also restricts grammatical variety. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then combine related information using clauses such as “while” and “whereas.” Check agreement, singular and plural forms, and sentence boundaries when editing.

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