Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

This graph shows number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, [redacted phone]. There are two informations given us, the number of year and jobs in million. There are 4 types of jobs given below. Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and healthcare. In the year 1960, 2 million people are doing healthcare job, 5.2 million people are doing retaling work, 5.2 million people are working in agriculture, and 15 million people are doing manufacturing. In 1980, 2.1 million people are working in agriculture field, 5 million people are doing job in healthcare centre, 10 million work as retailer and 20 million people are working in manufacturing field.In year 2000, 2.1 million are agriculture worker, 11 million work in health care centres, 15 million works as retailer and 17 million people are working in agriculture field. In year 2020, 2 million people works in agriculture field, 13 million works as manufacturing, 16 million works as a retailer and 16 million work as healthcarer.

In conclusion, Most common job is manufacturing and most uncommon job is agriculture. Jobs of health care and retailers are very similar to each other.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify all four sectors and report several figures across the years, so the response is recognisably about the graph. However, key data are misread: retail in 1960 is about 6 million, not 5.2; agriculture in 1980 is about 3 million, not 2.1; and in 2000 manufacturing is 17 million, while you incorrectly describe this as agriculture. The conclusion that manufacturing was the most common job throughout is also inaccurate, since retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million by 2020, above manufacturing at 13 million. The final comparison between healthcare and retail is relevant, but the response lacks a clear overview of the main changes. Select the dominant trends and report them accurately before listing details.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response follows a broadly chronological order, moving from 1960 through 2020, and the reader can usually identify which year each set of figures refers to. This gives the information some organisation. However, it is presented as one long paragraph, with no distinct overview and little progression from general trends to supporting details. Repeated openings such as “In the year” and “In year” make the account list-like, while “In conclusion” introduces a summary that does not clearly synthesise the data. Some links between clauses are also missing, particularly where one year’s figures run directly into the next. Use separate paragraphs for an overview and grouped comparisons, and connect related trends rather than listing every sector year by year.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use basic vocabulary relevant to the chart, including “manufacturing,” “agriculture,” “retailer,” and “most common.” This is enough to communicate the general subject, but the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural. “Two informations” is not a correct use of “information,” and “retaling” is misspelled. Phrases such as “doing healthcare job,” “working in agriculture field,” and “healthcarer” do not describe employment naturally; “jobs in healthcare” or “healthcare workers” would be clearer. The repeated use of “doing” and “working” also makes the report sound repetitive. Build a small set of precise chart-reporting expressions, such as “stood at,” “rose to,” and “declined to,” and check spelling and collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

Most sentences use simple reporting patterns, and the year-by-year structure makes the basic meaning understandable. However, grammatical errors occur frequently, and the range of sentence forms is narrow. Examples include “There are two informations given us,” “15 million people are doing manufacturing,” and “15 million works as retailer”; these show problems with articles, sentence construction, and subject–verb agreement. The repeated present-progressive forms (“are working,” “are doing”) are also unsuitable for describing historical figures, where past forms or neutral chart-reporting structures are needed. Punctuation and spacing are inconsistent, as in “field.In year 2000.” Practise accurate past-tense comparisons and vary sentence structures while checking agreement and articles.

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