Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The supplied line chart illustrates the data in various jobs in four sector of US economy from 1960 to 2020.

In an overview , highest proportion was recorded by manufacturing whereas agriculture was recorded lowest proportion .In addition retail and healthcare stood moderate in each year.

At the first glance , healthcare in 1960 was almost at 3 jobs in millions while in 1980 , it rose gradually at 5 percent of jobs in millions whereas in 2000 healthcare it increase rapidly at 11 percent of jobs in millions .In addition 2020 it rose at 16 percent of jobs in millions followed by

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response identifies the chart’s subject and attempts an overview, noting that manufacturing was highest and agriculture lowest. However, the overview is not accurate across the whole period: manufacturing does not remain highest, as retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million jobs by 2020. The claim that retail and healthcare were “moderate in each year” is vague and misses their contrasting upward trends. The response gives some healthcare figures, but does not describe the other three sectors or complete its final sentence (“followed by”). It also falls short of the required 150 words, leaving the summary substantially incomplete. To improve, report the main trends for all four sectors and make the key comparisons explicit, using the chart’s approximate values accurately.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response into an introduction, an overview and a detail paragraph, and phrases such as “In addition” show an effort to connect ideas. However, progression is limited: the overview is followed only by healthcare details, with no clear sequence covering the remaining sectors. Several transitions are awkward or do not introduce a complete idea, and the final phrase “followed by” leaves the response unfinished. Punctuation spacing also interrupts the flow, as in “overview ,” and “At the first glance ,”. A clearer structure would group the overview first, then compare the sectors’ changes across the period, using linking expressions only where they clarify the relationship between figures.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response uses some relevant chart vocabulary, including “line chart,” “sector,” “rose gradually” and “increase rapidly,” so the topic is generally recognisable. However, the range is narrow and several choices are inaccurate or imprecise. “Proportion” does not describe the number of jobs shown, and “5 percent of jobs in millions” confuses percentages with figures in millions. Repeated use of “jobs in millions” also makes the description cumbersome. More precise terms such as “employment,” “million jobs,” “increased” and “declined” would help communicate the data clearly. The phrase “stood moderate” is not a natural way to describe the series’ levels; use direct comparisons such as “were lower than manufacturing” or “rose to a similar level.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple statements and longer sentences with time clauses, for example, “whereas in 1980…” and “while in 1980…”. However, control is inconsistent, and errors sometimes make the relationships between figures difficult to follow. In “healthcare it increase rapidly,” the verb form is incorrect; “it increased rapidly” is needed. The opening also has number and article problems in “four sector of US economy,” while “In addition 2020 it rose” lacks a clear grammatical link between the time expression and the clause. Sentence punctuation and spacing are uneven, and the final sentence is incomplete. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and build complete sentences around each comparison before attempting longer structures.

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