Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

This graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the us between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, All of four sectors had shown flacuations over the period. The both retail and healthcare finished at same level in 2020 and became most popular category. In contrast manufacturing saw downward growth after 1980 concluding at second position, While agriculture was the least popular sector.

In 1960, manufacturing accounted for 15 million jobs followed by agriculture and retail at 6 million jobs simultaneously. In contrast the least popular category of 1960 was healthcare with around 2.5 million jobs.

In 1980 the manufacturing peaked about 20 million jobs, then the number of jobs in manufacturing sector declined sharply to 13 million jobs in 2020.

Retail experienced upward trajectory in 2000 it represented 15 million jobs the number modestly increased to 16 million jobs in 2020.

In 1980 healthcare ccounted for 5 million jobs then thi number grew significatly to 12 million in 2000 and finished at same level of jobs around 16 million in 2020 while the agriculture sector gradually declined in 1980 it was around 2.7 million jobs by 2020 it finished with least popular about 2.5 million jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main overall pattern: manufacturing peaks in 1980 and then declines, while agriculture remains the smallest sector, and you note that retail and healthcare finish at similar levels. These are relevant features, and most figures are close to the chart. However, the overview says all four sectors fluctuated, which is imprecise: agriculture declines overall, while retail and healthcare rise. Some details are also unclear or inaccurate, such as saying manufacturing ends in “second position” when retail and healthcare are both higher in 2020, and reporting agriculture at about 2.5 million rather than around 2 million. The response covers the task, but the overview and some comparisons need more precise development to make the key trends fully clear.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction and overview to details about the years and sectors. This makes the information generally easy to follow. You also use linking expressions such as “In contrast,” “then,” and “while” to show relationships. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear: “In 1980 the manufacturing peaked” begins a new detail without a clear link to the preceding paragraph, and the final sentence combines several trends in a long, difficult-to-follow sequence. The overview’s “All of four sectors” also does not accurately frame the comparisons that follow. Grouping the rising sectors together and the declining sectors together, and using shorter sentences for the data, would improve progression and cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “accounted for,” “peaked,” “declined,” and “upward trajectory.” These choices help describe changes rather than simply list figures. Some less common expressions are not used naturally or precisely: “downward growth” is contradictory, “most popular category” is not suitable for describing job numbers, and “finished at same level of jobs” is awkward. There are also spelling errors, including “flacuations,” “significatly,” and “ccounted,” which reduce accuracy. Aim for standard chart language such as “fell,” “rose,” “the highest number of jobs,” and “ended at approximately the same level.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses linked with “while” and “then,” and the main meaning is usually understandable. However, some grammatical errors recur. For example, “All of four sectors had shown” has an incorrect article and an unnecessary past perfect; “The both retail and healthcare” has faulty determiner use; and “manufacturing peaked about 20 million jobs” needs a preposition. Several sentences also run together, especially the final sentence, where punctuation and clause boundaries are unclear. Use the past simple consistently for the chart period, check articles and prepositions, and divide long comparisons into separate sentences. These changes would make your varied structures more controlled.

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