Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illutrates number of jobs in the four sectors of economy during year 1960 to 2020. These sectors include manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare.

In 1960, there were 15 million jobs in the manufacturing sector, which then climbed to 20 million in 1980. But again, it dipped and left with 17 million in the year 2000. Finally in 2020, it reached the lowest ever point on the graph which was 13 million.

In the year 1960, if we talk about retail and healthcare, it took a start from 6 milion and 3 million jobs, respectively. Later, it climbed gradually on the graph, and finally capping the jobs at all time highest in both sector at 16 million in the year 2020.

In agriculture sector, the jobs in 1960 were at all time highest at 6 million. However, it took a dip in two decades aand reached 3 million in the year 1980. It sustained for two decades but, soon after 2000 it again decreased in number and capped the jobs at 2 million in the year 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You report several key figures accurately, including manufacturing’s rise from 15 million to 20 million before falling to 13 million, and agriculture’s decline from 6 million to 2 million. However, the response lacks a clear overview of the main patterns and comparisons, which is essential for this task. Some details are also inaccurate: healthcare began at 2 million, not 3 million, and retail and healthcare did not both reach 16 million in 2020—retail was about 16 million while healthcare was also about 16 million, but their starting points and trajectories differ. The account also omits the important crossover in which healthcare and retail catch up with manufacturing by 2020. Add a concise overview and check each series against the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response is arranged in a generally clear sequence: an introduction is followed by paragraphs on manufacturing, retail and healthcare, and agriculture. Time markers such as “In 1960,” “Later,” and “Finally” help readers follow the changes, and the information is mostly grouped by sector. This provides a coherent overall arrangement. However, the progression is somewhat mechanical, with repeated openings such as “In the year 1960,” and the retail and healthcare trends are combined without clearly distinguishing their different starting values. A separate overview paragraph would make the organisation more effective, while comparisons between sectors could create stronger links between the details. Use cohesive devices to show contrasts and convergence, rather than relying mainly on chronological markers.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of trend vocabulary, including “climbed,” “dipped,” “sustained,” and “decreased,” so the main movements are understandable. However, several expressions are imprecise or unnatural for describing a graph: “took a start,” “left with 17 million,” and “capping the jobs” do not convey the data naturally. There are also spelling errors, including “illutrates,” “milion,” and “aand,” alongside awkward phrases such as “all time highest.” These slips do not prevent understanding, but they limit precision and control. Prefer standard reporting collocations such as “started at,” “stood at,” “rose to,” and “reached a peak,” and check spelling and word forms during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and more complex sentence forms, including a relative clause in “which then climbed to 20 million” and a contrast introduced by “However.” Most sentences communicate the intended trend, and grammatical errors rarely obstruct the reader. Some constructions are nevertheless awkward or incomplete in their grammatical patterning. For example, “it took a start from 6 million and 3 million jobs” does not clearly connect the two sectors to their respective figures, while “it sustained for two decades” has an unclear subject. The sentence beginning “Finally in 2020” also uses “reached” in a way that makes the reference point unclear. Build sentences around explicit subjects—“Retail started at…” and “Healthcare rose from…”—and check agreement, articles, and punctuation.

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