Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The data presents the amount of jobs amongst four sectors from the year 1960 and 2020 in the US economy.

Overall, Healthcare jobs experinced a significant increase throughout the period, though manufacturing was considered to be high in the beginning its figures plumetted towards the end. retail experienced a steady increase whereas agriculture underwent a marginal decline.

From the time period between 1960 to 1980, manufacturing and agriculture subsequently dipped. Although manufacting started as 15 million and reached a peak of 20 million in 1980 it experienced a gradual decline throughout the years. Whilst, agriculture started as 5 million and faced a marginal decline, it stayed stagnant of under 5 million between 1980 and 2000 before it decreased considerably.

On the other hand, retail and healthcare rose significantly, in 1960 both started as half of 5 million and just over 5 million respectively both faced a steady increase and ended up just over 15 million in 202

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the main broad patterns: healthcare rises substantially, manufacturing peaks and then declines, retail grows, and agriculture falls. You also include several figures, such as manufacturing reaching 20 million in 1980. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear: agriculture begins at about 6 million, not 5 million, and ends at about 2 million; the statement that manufacturing and agriculture both “dipped” between 1960 and 1980 conflicts with manufacturing’s rise. The final year is cut off as “202,” and the comparison that retail and healthcare finish at roughly 16 million each is not clearly completed. To strengthen the response, report the key start and end values accurately and make the overview and comparisons consistent with the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview and two body paragraphs. Grouping manufacturing with agriculture, then retail with healthcare, is a sensible way to organise the data. However, progression is weakened by the contradiction in “manufacturing and agriculture subsequently dipped” before manufacturing is described as rising to a peak. Some linking words, including “Although,” “Whilst,” and “On the other hand,” do not make the relationships between ideas fully clear, and the last sentence is unfinished. Use each paragraph to present a consistent trend, and connect comparisons directly—for example, explain that manufacturing falls while retail and healthcare rise after 1980.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant trend vocabulary, including “significant increase,” “steady increase,” “marginal decline,” and “stagnant,” which helps describe changes across the sectors. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward: “amount of jobs” is less suitable than “number of jobs,” and “figures plummetted” is an imprecise way to describe a gradual decline. “Considered to be high” is also vague, while “half of 5 million” does not clearly express the starting values. Spelling errors such as “experinced,” “plumetted,” and “manufacting” reduce accuracy. Aim for precise chart language such as “rose to,” “fell to,” and “remained stable,” and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses beginning with “Although” and “Whilst,” and the overall meaning is generally recoverable. However, these longer constructions are not consistently controlled. For example, “Although manufacting started as 15 million and reached a peak … it experienced…” lacks clear punctuation and uses an awkward grammatical pattern; “it stayed stagnant of under 5 million” also has an incorrect preposition and structure. The final sentence is incomplete, ending with “in 202,” and the opening phrase “from the year 1960 and 2020” does not form a correct time range. Practise complete, clearly punctuated sentences and use consistent past-tense forms when describing the period.

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