Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph demonstrate the number of employement in four different sectors, in the economy of United states for the time during 1960 to 2020.

Overall, Manufacturing sector is the largest sector, in comparision of all other sectors in 1960 and gained its peak in 1980. However, Retail and Agriculture are at the same level in 1960. And in 1980, there is a steady drop in agriculture and on the other side Retail sector Inclined sharply in 1980 and growing in the coming year since then. And lastly, Healthcare sector struggled in 1960 at the lowest and pick up pace in 1980.

Since 1980, there is a sharp decline in Manufacturing. While the Retail sector Growing drastically and reach its peak in 2020 with Healthcare. Although, healthcare was the lowest in the beginning but reach at the pinnacle in 2020 and giving the competition to retail sector directly. Agriculture sector is fluctuating, during the time of 1980 to 2020.

In conclusion, I would like to appreciate the retail and healtcare sector because they work hard and become the top of all sectors while Manufacturing grabbing the second place and Agriculture sector is still sturggling and find the place at the bottom of all.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify several important features: manufacturing was highest initially and peaked in 1980, agriculture declined overall, and retail and healthcare rose to joint-highest levels by 2020. However, some descriptions are inaccurate or unclear. Retail rose steadily rather than “inclined sharply” specifically in 1980, and agriculture did not fluctuate from 1980 to 2020; it fell from about 3 million to 2 million after remaining level to 2000. The claim that manufacturing “grabbing the second place” in 2020 is also incorrect, as retail and healthcare were both higher. The overview is present, but it should summarise the main changes more precisely and avoid personal praise or commentary such as “I would like to appreciate.”

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable introduction, overview, and further description, so the reader can identify its broad organisation. However, progression is weakened by repeated and sometimes confusing statements about the same trends. For example, the overview says retail was “growing in the coming year since then,” while the next paragraph repeats that it grew drastically. Linking words such as “However,” “And,” “While,” and “Although” are used, but some connections do not clearly express the relationship between ideas. The final paragraph shifts into personal evaluation rather than completing the data summary. Grouping the manufacturing and agriculture declines together, then comparing the rises in retail and healthcare, would create a clearer progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of vocabulary, including “sharp decline,” “peak,” “pinnacle,” and “struggling,” and the general subject remains understandable. However, several choices are inaccurate, informal, or repetitive for a graph summary. “Inclined sharply” is not a natural way to describe a rise, and “appreciate” and “work hard” introduce an inappropriate personal tone. There are also noticeable spelling and word-form errors, including “employement,” “comparision,” “healtcare,” and “sturggling.” Use precise, neutral terms for trends and avoid figurative language when a straightforward description is clearer. More accurate collocations would make the account easier to follow.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses beginning with “Although” and “While,” but control is inconsistent. Errors occur in agreement and verb forms: “The line graph demonstrate” should be “demonstrates,” and “the Retail sector Growing” needs a correctly formed verb. Articles and sentence construction are also problematic in phrases such as “in comparision of all other sectors” and “reach at the pinnacle.” Several fragments or awkwardly joined clauses appear, including “However, Retail and Agriculture are at the same level in 1960. And in 1980…” and “While the Retail sector…” Improving sentence boundaries and checking subject–verb agreement would make your meaning more reliable. Aim for a few accurate complex sentences rather than joining many ideas loosely.

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