Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph illustrates the numbers of jobs in four sector of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the highest number of jobs were in manufacturing initially. Although it did not sustain throughout the period, jobs in retail and healthcare grew up, and became the highest number of job provider.

In 1960, there were about 15 million jobs in manufacturing sector, which grew up to approximately 20 million jobs in 1980. After that year, it started to decline and eventually fall to about 13 million jobs in 2020. While, jobs in retail and healthcare followed a upward trend. There were about 6 million jobs in retail and approximately 2 million jobs in healthcare in 1960. Both of these sectors did not fall for a single time and resulted in prividing about 16 million jobs in 2020. Whereas, job market in agriculture followed exactly opposite trend in contrast to retail and healthcare. Starting at 6 million jobs, which is similar to the retail sector, it ended up at approximately 2 million jobs in 2020

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main pattern accurately: manufacturing starts highest, rises to a peak in 1980, then declines, while retail and healthcare increase and agriculture falls. The key endpoint comparison is also captured, with retail and healthcare both reaching about 16 million jobs in 2020. This covers the task well and includes relevant figures. However, some features are less fully reported: you do not mention that retail overtakes manufacturing by 2000, or that healthcare rises from 5 million in 1980 to 11 million in 2000. The claim that retail and healthcare “did not fall for a single time” is broadly consistent with the plotted points, but the overview could state more precisely that they become joint leaders by 2020. The response is sufficiently developed, though a fuller comparison would strengthen it.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction and overview are followed by a paragraph describing the sector trends. The sequence from 1960 through 2020 is generally easy to follow, and contrast markers such as “Although,” “While,” and “Whereas” help distinguish the patterns. However, some linking is mechanical or awkward, particularly the sentence fragments beginning “While” and “Whereas,” and “While” is followed by a comma where the sentence should continue without one. The final agriculture comparison is also left without a full stop, making the ending feel unfinished. Grouping the rising sectors together and then contrasting them with agriculture, while using complete sentences and clearer references, would make the progression smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of task-related vocabulary, including “decline,” “upward trend,” “sector,” and “approximately,” and the main trends remain understandable. There are, however, several inaccurate or unnatural choices that limit precision. “Grew up” is not the right collocation for an increase in job numbers; “rose” or “increased” would be more natural. “Highest number of job provider” is awkward and imprecise, while “providing” is misspelled as “prividing.” The phrase “followed exactly opposite trend in contrast to” is also unnecessarily repetitive. Use concise, conventional language for describing data, such as “employment in agriculture declined,” and check spelling and word forms. These improvements would make the vocabulary more controlled and natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including a concessive overview sentence and clauses with “which” and “while.” Most of the trends can be understood, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “four sector” needs a plural noun, and “the highest number of jobs were” has a mismatch between the singular subject “number” and the plural verb. “A upward trend” should use the correct article, and “While, jobs…” is not correctly punctuated or structured as a sentence. The final agriculture sentence begins with “Starting at 6 million jobs” but lacks a main clause, and the response ends without terminal punctuation. Aim to make each sentence complete and check agreement, articles, and punctuation while retaining your attempts at complex forms.

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