Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph show the number of jobs in four different sectors economy in the US between 1960 to 2020. The data is given in millions.

Overall Retail and Healthcare saw a continuous job score over the period. While the Agriculture had seen declined steadily. Manufacturing saw a highest job score in 1980 around 20 millions but in 2020 retail and Healthcare was replaced Manufacturing in 2020.

In 1960 Manufacturing was the biggest sector with 15 millions jobs. Retail and agriculture started with the 6 millions. While Healthcare had the lowest number of jobs 3million comparatively of all. By 1980 Manufacturing had the highest point in 20 million and Retail grew to 10 million in 1980. Also Healthcare grew up to 5 million in 1980 but the agriculture dropped at 3million in 1980

Between 1980 to 2020 Manufacturing constantly decreased at 13 million. On the other hand Retail and Healthcare increased significantly same and reached at 16 million. While Agriculture had remained the lowest sector finished at around 2 million jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main overall patterns: manufacturing peaks in 1980 and then declines, agriculture falls, and retail and healthcare rise to about 16 million by 2020. The key comparisons are supported with relevant figures, including manufacturing’s 15 million start and the two rising sectors’ final totals. However, some details are unclear or inaccurate: healthcare begins at about 2 million, not 3 million, and saying retail and healthcare “replaced Manufacturing” does not clearly explain that they caught up with and overtook it by 2020. The overview also calls the increases continuous, although retail and healthcare are shown only at four points. More precise descriptions of the final ranking and the relative trends would make the summary more complete and developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs describing the earlier and later periods. This gives the reader a generally logical route through the data, and time markers such as “By 1980” and “Between 1980 to 2020” help signal progression. However, several links are mechanical or unclear. The repeated sentence openings with “While” create fragments, and “On the other hand” does not clearly establish a contrast between the two rising sectors and manufacturing. The overview’s statement that retail and healthcare “replaced Manufacturing” also leaves the comparison ambiguous. Use complete sentences and group related trends more deliberately; clearer references to the sectors and more varied linking would make the progression smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant task vocabulary, including “sector,” “increased significantly,” “decreased,” and “lowest,” and the reader can generally understand the trends being described. However, the range and control are limited by several inaccurate or unnatural expressions. “Job score” is not an appropriate way to describe the number of jobs, while “grew up to” and “reached at” are awkward collocations. “Saw a continuous job score” also obscures the intended meaning. Choose precise trend language such as “employment,” “rose to,” “declined to,” and “remained stable.” There are also word-form and number issues, for example “15 millions jobs”; use “15 million jobs.” More accurate collocations and consistent terminology would improve clarity and flexibility.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex forms, including time clauses such as “By 1980” and contrast clauses beginning with “While.” However, errors occur across many sentences and sometimes make relationships difficult to follow. For example, “The line graph show” has subject–verb disagreement, and “between 1960 to 2020” uses an incorrect preposition pattern. Several “While” clauses are left as fragments, including “While the Agriculture had seen declined steadily.” Articles and verb forms are also inconsistent, as in “the agriculture dropped at 3million.” Aim first for accurate complete sentences, with correct agreement and tense, then add subordinate clauses. Punctuating each sentence clearly and checking articles and prepositions would make your meaning more reliable.

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