Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph that is given gives us the information about the number of people employed in the four diffrent sectors of the economy, between the years of 1960 and 2020. The graph give the four most famous industries such as Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, and laslty Healthcare.

Firstly if manufacturing industry had a quick growth in the number of people emploayed but in the later years the elevel of employement went down gradually, unlike retail had a gradual increase in the amount of people employed in that particular sector, in 1960 starting from a little above from 5 million individuals in both the industries to all the way to a little above 15 million workers in both each sector by the end of 2020. Conversly for the agriculture sector even though they have the same satarting points the end result is completley diffrent, the ending of the graph in the year of 2020 indicates that the agriculture sector has individuals leading to the halfway mark of the 0 million individuals point.

Lastly in the healthcare sector there has had an increase in the level of employement in the sector starting of 1960 the sector has employed almost individuals reaching up to the halway mark of 0 million indivuduals all the way up to a little over the 15 million mark in 2020

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify all four sectors and describe several broad trends, including manufacturing rising before declining and retail and healthcare increasing. However, the report does not give a clear, accurate overview of the main comparisons, and some key figures are misrepresented or unclear. For example, manufacturing peaks at about 20 million in 1980, while retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million by 2020; these comparisons are not clearly stated. The agriculture endpoint is described as “halfway mark of the 0 million” rather than about 2 million, and the healthcare starting point is similarly unclear instead of about 2 million. To strengthen the response, state the overall pattern directly and report selected figures accurately, especially the sectors’ starting and ending levels.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is some organisation: the response introduces the graph, then uses “Firstly” and “Lastly” to group discussion of the sectors. The broad sequence from manufacturing and retail to agriculture and healthcare is understandable. However, the progression is weakened by very long sentences that combine several trends and comparisons, particularly the sentence beginning “Firstly if manufacturing industry…”. Connectors such as “unlike” and “Conversly” do not always make the relationships clear, and the final healthcare discussion is difficult to follow. Use separate paragraphs for an overview and the detailed comparisons, and give each sentence one main comparison. Clearer referencing and more precise linking would make the report easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “employed,” “gradual increase,” “sector,” and “ending,” and you attempt to vary expressions for change. However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or awkward, such as “quick growth,” “the four most famous industries,” and “individuals leading to the halfway mark.” Repetition of “people employed” and “individuals” also makes the description less precise. There are noticeable spelling errors, including “diffrent,” “Conversly,” “satarting,” and “employement,” which reduce the accuracy of the vocabulary. Choose standard graph language such as “rose sharply,” “employment,” and “fell to around two million,” and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts some complex sentences, for example using “unlike” and “even though” to compare trends, but these structures are often faulty or difficult to follow. The opening repeats the subject and verb (“The graph that is given gives us”), while “The graph give” has incorrect subject–verb agreement. Other problems include “if manufacturing industry had a quick growth,” “the ending of the graph… indicates,” and the incomplete construction “there has had an increase.” Articles, verb forms, and sentence boundaries are not controlled consistently, and several sentences run on without clear punctuation. Practise accurate simple trend sentences first, then combine them with correctly formed clauses, such as “Manufacturing rose to 20 million in 1980 before declining.”

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