Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph below illustrates the number of jobs in four fields of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. Overall, manufacturing, retail and healthcare have been major contributors in the US financial growth, while agriculture constituted minor part in the given period.

Manufacturing started from 15 milion jobs in 1960, and inclined to 20 million until 1980, and gradually started declining afterwards. Retail and agriculture shared 5 million jobs each in 1960, and moved in opposite directions with retail has seen a significant growth in the given time frame. However, there has been a decline in agriculture sector, which shared least part in the US economy. Moreover, 2 million jobs were available in healthcare sector in 1960 , which significantly rose over the years and surpassed the manufacturing in 2020.

Retail and healthcare have been flourishing fields in the US, both crossed the manufacturing in terms of job opportunities after 2000, and has been sharing same numbers since 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You provide a relevant overview by identifying agriculture as the smallest sector and noting the growth in retail and healthcare alongside manufacturing’s later decline. Several key comparisons are also accurate: manufacturing peaks in 1980, healthcare rises from a low starting point, and retail and healthcare reach similar levels by 2020. This captures the main picture well. However, some details are inaccurate or imprecise: retail and agriculture were both about 6 million in 1960, not 5 million, and healthcare and retail did not both overtake manufacturing after 2000—retail was still below manufacturing in 2000 and only exceeded it by 2020. The claim that both sectors had been “sharing same numbers since 2020” also overstates a single endpoint. More precise comparisons and clearer reporting of the final figures would strengthen the response further.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction and overview are followed by details about the four sectors, then a concluding comparison. This makes the main trends easy to locate, and linking expressions such as “Overall,” “However,” and “Moreover” help signal relationships. Some cohesion is less controlled, though. The second paragraph moves from manufacturing to retail and agriculture, then healthcare, making the comparisons feel somewhat list-like. The final paragraph repeats the idea that retail and healthcare grew and were similar in 2020 rather than adding a distinct summary. There are also awkward links within sentences, such as “moved in opposite directions with retail has seen.” Grouping the rising sectors together and the declining sectors together, with clearer references between them, would create smoother progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a reasonable range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “declining,” “significant growth,” “rose,” and “flourishing.” These choices generally communicate the broad movement in the graph, and the meaning remains clear. However, some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural for a data report. “Inclined to 20 million” is not the usual way to describe an increase, while “shared least part” and “major contributors in the US financial growth” do not express the intended ideas precisely. “Fields” and “job opportunities” also shift the focus from the number of jobs shown. There are spelling slips, including “milion,” and some repetition of “significantly.” Aim for precise trend language and neutral terms such as “employment” and “number of jobs.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses beginning with “while” and “which,” and most of the message is understandable. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly in verb forms and agreement. For example, “moved in opposite directions with retail has seen” combines incompatible structures; it could be revised as “moved in opposite directions, with retail seeing…” The phrase “retail and healthcare … has been sharing” needs plural agreement, and “both crossed … after 2000” does not accurately express the timing as a grammatical comparison. Articles are also missing in “constituted minor part,” and punctuation spacing is inconsistent. More consistently controlled clauses, agreement, and article use would make the complex sentences clearer.

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