Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph illustrates the data about the number of jobs in four namly,Manufacturing,Retail,Agreculture,Healthcare in the economy of the usa between 1960 and 2020.

Overall,It can be clearly seen that,manufacturing are dramatically increased in all four categrios.While Agreculture far most rapid growth.whereas Retail and Healcare are maintaining their lead.

In 1960,manufacturing had the higest prportion of the Amarica economy around 15 million jobs offerd.compared to Retail they goes steadly at above 5 million.in 2018 manufacturing are dramatically increase and overtook at under 15 million.

In contrast,Healthcare and Retail are increased rapidly at 2 and above 5 million in 60 year period . and they both maintain ther lead.whereas Agreculture are decrease slightly and accounted for Healthcare at 5 million to 2 million in all year.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response identifies the four sectors and includes a few relevant figures, such as manufacturing at about 15 million in 1960 and healthcare rising from 2 million. However, it does not give a reliable overview of the main trends: manufacturing did not increase throughout, but peaked at 20 million in 1980 before falling to 13 million, while retail and healthcare rose. The claim that agriculture had the “most rapid growth” is the opposite of its decline, and the statement that retail and healthcare “maintain their lead” is unclear. The year 2018 is also inaccurate; the chart ends in 2020. The response is 25 words below the required minimum, leaving key comparisons and stages undeveloped. Select the main trends accurately and support them with clear endpoint figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the report into an introduction, an overview and detail paragraphs, and contrast markers such as “In contrast” and “whereas” show an effort to connect ideas. However, progression is difficult to follow because the overview contains contradictory claims and the later paragraphs mix sectors and time periods without a clear sequence. For example, the final sentence moves from agriculture’s decline to healthcare’s figures in a way that obscures which trend is being described. Some linking words are also used where the relationship is unclear. Group the rising sectors together and the declining or fluctuating sectors separately, then describe changes chronologically and use pronouns and connectors only when their references are clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some task-relevant vocabulary, including “line graph,” “in contrast,” “increased,” and “decrease,” and attempts to describe change and comparison. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations make the meaning difficult to interpret, such as “maintain their lead,” “accounted for Healthcare,” and “they goes steadily.” Spelling errors are frequent, including “Agreculture,” “higest,” and “Amarica,” which reduce clarity and control. Use precise terms for trends and comparisons, such as “rose,” “declined,” “peaked,” and “overtook,” and check spelling carefully. Avoid using “lead” unless the figures clearly show which sector is ahead.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts both simple and more complex sentences, including a contrast structure beginning “In contrast” and a clause with “whereas.” However, grammatical control is weak: errors in agreement, tense, articles, and sentence boundaries occur repeatedly. Examples include “manufacturing are dramatically increased,” “they goes steadily,” and “in 2018 manufacturing are dramatically increase.” The final sentence also lacks a clear grammatical relationship between agriculture and healthcare. These errors often make the intended trend or comparison hard to understand. Practise forming accurate past-tense descriptions of chart data, for example, “Manufacturing rose to 20 million in 1980, then fell to 13 million by 2020.” Use full stops to separate complete ideas and check subject–verb agreement.

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