Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph below illustrate the number jobs in four sectors of the US economy (Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, healthcare) between 1960 and 2020, each curve in the graph illustrate one of the four sectors.

Starting from 1960 and in the span of 20 years we notice a rise in the numbers of jobs of three sctors which are Healthcare, Retail and Manufacturing by 5 million jobs.

Healthcare from 2.5 million to 5 milllion jobs in 1980.

Retail from almost 5 million to 10 million jobs in 1980.

Manufacturing from 15 million to 20 million jobs in 1980.

We also notice a decline in agriculture from 5 milllion in 1960 to almost 2.5 million in 1980.

From the year 1980 to 2000, in the span of this 20 years we notice rise in the numbers of jobs in both Heallthcare and Retail sectors, Healthcare reaching a total amount of jobs slightly more than 10 million and retail reaching 15 million in the year 2000.

and a stagnation in the number of jobs in the Agriculture sector remaining at 5 million jobs in the year 2000.

We also observe a decline in the numbers of jobs in the Manufacturing sector decllining to almost 15 millions jobs in the year 2000.

and lastly from 2000 to 2020 we observe the continuation of the rise in job numbers in the Healthcare sector surpassing 15 million jobs along side the Retail sector that has a growth rate smaller than the previous years.

and we also notice a decline in both the Manufacturing sector and the Agriculture sector, with Manufacturing rdeclining to about 12.5 million jobs in 2020 and Agricullture to less than 2.5 million jobs.

this graph demonstrate the history of the employment sector in the US with all its four sectors in numbers, with Retail and Healthcare scoring the highest in the number of jobs whille the Agriculture and Manufacturing sectors have been steadly declining in recent years.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You cover all four sectors and describe the main movements across the three periods, including manufacturing’s early rise and later fall, and the growth of retail and healthcare. Several figures are close to the chart, such as manufacturing at 20 million in 1980 and retail at 15 million in 2000. However, some data are misreported: agriculture is about 3 million in both 1980 and 2000, not 2.5 million and 5 million, and manufacturing is about 17 million in 2000 rather than 15 million. Your final overview also says manufacturing has been steadily declining in recent years, although it first rose substantially. A more accurate overview identifying healthcare and retail as the leading sectors by 2020 would make the key features clearer.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response follows a generally understandable chronological order, moving from 1960–1980 to 1980–2000 and then 2000–2020. This helps readers track changes, and the sector names usually make the comparisons clear. However, the organisation is weakened by the lack of distinct paragraphs for the overview and detailed comparisons. Many sentences begin with repetitive links such as “We also notice” and “We also observe,” while standalone “and” clauses and the final summary interrupt the progression. Grouping related trends into paragraphs and using a concise overview before the details would create a clearer overall structure. Use linking expressions selectively and ensure each sentence connects logically to the one before it.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “rise,” “decline,” “stagnation,” “surpassing,” and “growth rate.” These choices show an adequate range for reporting a line graph. However, some phrases are imprecise or repetitive: “the numbers of jobs” and “a total amount of jobs” are less natural than standard chart-reporting expressions, and “scoring the highest” is not an appropriate collocation for employment figures. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “sctors,” “Heallthcare,” “decllining,” and “Agricullture.” These do not prevent understanding, but careful proofreading and more precise collocations would improve clarity and control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including time clauses such as “Starting from 1960 and in the span of 20 years…” and comparisons across sectors. The main trends remain understandable, but grammatical errors recur. For example, “The graph below illustrate” has subject–verb disagreement, while “in the span of this 20 years we notice rise” has problems with number, articles, and sentence construction. Several sentences begin with lowercase “and,” and the final sentence uses “this graph demonstrate,” again showing agreement errors. Aim for shorter, complete sentences with accurate subjects and verbs, and check articles and plurals. This would make your varied attempts more consistently clear.

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