Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the amount of employment opportunities available across four different sectors of economy in US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, manufacturing industries has highest contribution in early years whereas it also shown a steadily decrease in the later years while retail and healthcare sectors has highest contribution throughout the years. Agricultural sector contributed fo the lowest share.

In 1960, manufacturing sector stood at the top and contributed for almost 16 million jobs oppurtunities for residents while it reached 21 million employment by 1980 but after that if faces a steadily downfall and reached to only 13 million by 2020. Agricultural industry accounts for least contribution of jobs for people and by 2020 it offers job oppurunities for only 2 million people.

The retail industry offers 6 million empolyment opportunities in 1960 but it showed a dramtic increase throughout the period and by 2020 it offers more than 16 million jobs for citizens. Following by health care industry it also offers 2 million oppurtunities in initial years but in the later years it become one of the sector which contributes for highest employment oppurtunities and offers 16 million same as retail sector.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main patterns: manufacturing peaks around 1980 and then declines, agriculture remains the smallest sector, and retail and healthcare grow substantially. The overview also notes that healthcare and retail reach similar levels by 2020. These are relevant comparisons and the figures are generally close to the chart. However, the overview is not fully clear: saying manufacturing had the “highest contribution” in the early years conflicts with the later claim that retail and healthcare had the highest contribution “throughout the years.” Retail and healthcare do not lead throughout; manufacturing is highest until 2000, and retail and healthcare are joint leaders in 2020. Clarifying this sequence and including the flat period in agriculture or healthcare’s faster rise would make the key features more fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, moving from an introduction to an overview and then to details about manufacturing and agriculture, followed by retail and healthcare. This grouping helps the reader follow the main trends, and time markers such as “In 1960,” “by 1980,” and “by 2020” support progression. Some connections are less effective, however. The overview’s contrast between manufacturing and the other sectors is confusing, and “Following by health care industry” does not clearly show how healthcare relates to retail. Repeated use of “while” and “but” also makes some relationships feel mechanical. Use clearer comparisons between the series and ensure each paragraph develops one coherent set of trends.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of topic vocabulary, including “employment opportunities,” “steadily decrease,” “dramatic increase,” and “contributed.” This allows you to describe rises, falls, and relative size. However, several word choices and collocations are unnatural or imprecise, such as “highest contribution” for job numbers, “offers employment,” and “faces a steadily downfall.” There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “oppurtunities,” “empolyment,” and “dramtic,” which reduce the accuracy and polish of the response. Prefer direct chart language such as “the number of jobs,” “employed,” “rose,” and “declined,” and check spelling carefully. More precise vocabulary would make comparisons clearer and more natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses linked with “whereas,” “while,” and “but,” and the overall meaning is usually understandable. However, errors in agreement and verb forms recur: “manufacturing industries has” should be “manufacturing industries have” or “the manufacturing sector has,” and “it also shown” needs a correctly formed verb. Tense control is also inconsistent when describing the chart, for example “it offers” alongside past-tense descriptions. Articles and sentence construction need attention in phrases such as “one of the sector.” These errors sometimes make the relationships harder to follow. Practise accurate present-tense reporting and check subject–verb agreement, articles, and plural forms while retaining your attempts at complex sentences.

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