Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The graph illustrates the volume of jobs in different sectors of the country United States from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, healthcare and retail sector showed increase from the very start and manufacturing sector increased but eventually fell and agriculture sector experienced a downward trend during the period respectively.

In 1960, the healthcare and retail sector showed a stready but significant growth from around 2 and 6 millions and both accounted for almost 16 millions contributing same number of jobs until 2020.

Manufacturing sector showed substancial growth of 5 millions from 1960 to 1980, making it the highest performing among all sectors, then it dropped dramatically to around 13 millions in 2020. Agriculture sector experienced moderate decrease from 6 millions in 1960 to around 3 millions in 1980, then remained level off until 2000, again facing a slight fall of 1 million making it the least sector having jobs in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the broad patterns accurately: manufacturing rises to a peak in 1980 before declining, agriculture falls overall, and retail and healthcare grow. The overview is relevant, and the final comparison correctly notes that agriculture is the smallest sector by 2020. However, some details are unclear or inaccurate. The sentence saying healthcare and retail “accounted for almost 16 millions” and “contributing same number of jobs until 2020” obscures that they both reach about 16 million only in 2020; their earlier figures differ substantially. Also, healthcare does not show steady growth from the start: it rises from about 2 to 5, then 11 and 16 million. Clarify these stages and compare the changing rankings more explicitly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, a summary of the main trends, and detail about the sectors. The sequence from the overview to specific figures is easy to follow, and linking expressions such as “then” and “again” help show changes over time. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent organisation and shows some effective progression. However, the overview sentence is crowded, with all four trends compressed into one sentence, while the next paragraph combines healthcare and retail in a way that makes the comparison difficult to follow. The phrase “respectively” does not clearly connect to the trends listed. Use separate, focused comparisons and clearer references to years to make cohesion more natural and precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use a suitable range of vocabulary for describing a line graph, including “downward trend,” “growth,” “dropped,” and “remained level off,” and the meaning is generally understandable. There are also attempts at more specific language, such as “moderate decrease” and “slight fall.” However, some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward: “volume of jobs” is less natural than “number of jobs,” “highest performing” is not an appropriate description of the largest employment figure, and “least sector having jobs” is unclear. Spelling errors such as “stready” and “substancial” also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise graph language and check spelling; for example, use “peaked,” “declined,” and “the smallest sector.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrast with “but eventually fell” and a sequence using “then.” The main trends and figures can usually be understood, so errors do not generally prevent communication. Some grammatical problems remain, particularly with articles, agreement, plurals, and sentence construction. For example, “healthcare and retail sector showed increase” needs plural agreement and an article or possessive structure, while “6 millions” should use the singular unit “million.” The long sentence beginning “In 1960” is difficult to parse because its clauses do not clearly express the timeline. Practise building accurate comparisons with clear subjects and verbs, and use full stops to separate stages when a sentence becomes overloaded.

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