Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Graph is showing four different sectors of US economy from 1960 - 2022. Four sectors included are: Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare.

The graph is showing some obvious things in these four industries and some surprizingly different jobs availability in all four over 60 years period.

Jobs are in miilions as per graph representing on y-axis vertically and sectors are shown through legends in table throught four different shapes, year gap is taken over 20 years period on x-axis horizontally.

From 1960 when the manufacturing unit was in demand its got boost in 1980s and then afterwards over 40 year period it has reduced its job maket around 10 million, as per retail job market in 1960s there were around 5-7 million jobs available its market escalate upward upto 2020 with at least 5 million job vacancies within every 20 years, its great to note that agriculture market also increased its job availability over last 60 years immensely, coming towards healthcare system its also keep on increasing its recruitment process with clear difference over years upto 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify all four sectors and describe the broad rise in manufacturing to 1980 followed by a decline, as well as growth in retail and healthcare. However, the account is only partially accurate and the main features are not clearly selected or summarised. Most importantly, you say agriculture “increased… immensely,” whereas it fell from about 6 million jobs to 2 million. The manufacturing decline is described as around 10 million, although the chart shows a fall of roughly 7 million, from 20 to 13 million. The opening also gives the period as ending in 2022 rather than 2020. Add a clear overview comparing the overall trends and report key figures accurately; this would make the response address the task more fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is some organisation: the response introduces the chart and then discusses the sectors, using time references such as “in 1980s” and “upto 2020” to indicate change. However, the information does not progress clearly from an overview to selected comparisons. The final paragraph combines all four sectors in one long sentence, making the relationships between trends difficult to follow, and the agriculture statement disrupts the account because it contradicts the chart. Paragraphing is limited, and linking phrases such as “as per” and “coming towards” do not clearly signal the comparisons intended. Separate the overview from the details, then group related trends—for example, declining manufacturing and agriculture versus growing retail and healthcare—and use clear transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “sectors,” “job market,” “availability,” and “recruitment,” so the reader can generally identify the subject. However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for describing a graph. “Its got boost” and “market escalate upward” are awkward collocations, while “job vacancies” suggests unfilled positions rather than the number of jobs. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “surprizingly,” “miilions,” and “throught.” Aim for precise trend language and check spelling: for example, use “rose,” “declined,” “remained stable,” and “employment” where appropriate. This will make the comparisons clearer and more suitable for an academic report.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts to connect several ideas using time clauses and conjunctions, but the range of sentence structures is limited and complex sentences are often difficult to control. For example, “From 1960 when the manufacturing unit was in demand its got boost in 1980s” lacks clear clause punctuation and has problems with tense and articles. The long final sentence joins several sector descriptions without clear grammatical boundaries, and “its also keep on increasing” has incorrect subject–verb agreement and verb form. Use shorter, complete sentences and check that each clause has a clear subject and verb. Practising accurate past-tense forms and punctuation around introductory clauses would improve readability.

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