Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph below gives the information about the number of jobs in (manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare) sectors of economy in America between [redacted phone]. The units are measured in millions.

Overall, Healthcare jobs has seen an upward trend all the way during the years along with healthcare the retail job has also seen a rise. Whereas Agriculture sector jobs was one of the lowest as compare to others.

Firstly, in 1960 healthcare jobs were at lowest which was 2 million and then throughout all the coming years it has seen a magnificent rise standing at 16 million in 2020. Furthermore, the retail job has also seen a dramatic increase standing at 16 million in 2020 which was 6 million in 1960.

Secondly, manufacturing job was one was one of the highest working jobs as compare to others in 1960 which was 15 million furthermore it increased in 1980 standing at 20 million which decrease drastically in coming years which is 13 million in 2020. Moreover Agriculture job was 6 million in 1960 which further seen a decline during the years which is 2 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You cover all four sectors and identify the main patterns: healthcare and retail rise, agriculture declines, and manufacturing peaks before falling. The overview is clear, and the figures you give—such as manufacturing reaching 20 million in 1980 and healthcare and retail both ending at 16 million—match the chart. This gives the report a sound, relevant account of the data. To make the key features more fully developed, compare the sectors directly at important points: for example, healthcare overtakes agriculture and approaches manufacturing, while retail and healthcare finish level. The overview could also state that manufacturing begins as the largest sector but is no longer the largest by 2020. These comparisons would make the selection and reporting of the main features more complete and precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The sequence from the earlier figures to the later trends is generally easy to follow, and signposts such as “Firstly” and “Secondly” help distinguish the sectors discussed. However, these transitions are somewhat mechanical, and the grouping could be more purposeful—for instance, discuss the rising sectors together, then contrast them with manufacturing and agriculture. Some links are also awkward or repetitive, particularly “Furthermore” and “Moreover,” while “along with healthcare” makes the relationship between the trends unclear. At this level, the overall arrangement is coherent, but clearer referencing and more natural connections between comparisons would improve the flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic vocabulary to describe the chart, including “upward trend,” “decline,” “dramatic increase,” and “million.” These choices communicate the broad movements, and the reader can understand the intended comparisons. However, several phrases are unnatural or imprecise, such as “the retail job,” “working jobs,” and “one of the lowest as compare to others.” “Magnificent rise” is also too evaluative for a neutral data report, and “drastically” overstates the manufacturing fall. Repeated use of “job” and “rise” limits the range. Aim for accurate collocations such as “employment in retail,” “number of jobs,” “rose steadily,” and “fell to,” choosing neutral language that describes the scale of change without exaggeration.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses linked with “whereas” and “which,” and the main trends remain understandable. However, errors in agreement, articles, and sentence construction occur often enough to make the writing less controlled. Examples include “Healthcare jobs has seen,” where the plural subject needs a plural verb, and “the retail job has also seen,” where the singular phrasing does not fit the intended general category. The sentence beginning “Whereas Agriculture sector jobs…” is a fragment, and “which decrease drastically” does not maintain the past tense used for the historical data. There is also an incomplete construction in “which further seen a decline.” Practise complete sentences and consistent past-tense reporting, while checking subject–verb agreement and article use.

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