Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The given line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US over the period from 1960 and 2020. Manufacturing, Agriculture, Retail and Healthcare.

Overall, manufacturing was the largest employer in 1960 and by 190 this trend decline. Moreover, in retail sector we can see a higest increase in the year of 1980 and by 2020 it goes upward to 15 millions.

Furthermore, in agriculture sector folowed down ward trend over the year from 1960 to 2020. Lastly, healthcare the number of workers was 5 millions in 1980 and by the end of year 2020 it was incline upto 15 millions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the four sectors and mention several relevant trends, including manufacturing’s early prominence, agriculture’s decline, and healthcare’s growth. However, the overview is incomplete and contains important inaccuracies: manufacturing peaked in 1980, not 1960, and the phrase “by 190” appears to misstate the year 2000. Retail did not have its highest increase in 1980; it rose steadily and reached about 16 million jobs in 2020. Healthcare also ended at about 16 million, rather than 15 million. The response is 94 words, below the required 150, and this limits the detail and comparisons you can provide. Include a clear overview and accurately compare the main changes across the period.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic structure, moving from an introduction to an overview and then comments on individual sectors. Paragraph breaks and signposting such as “Overall,” “Furthermore,” and “Lastly” help the reader recognise these sections. However, progression is limited because the trends are presented as short, separate statements rather than being compared or developed in a connected account. The opening also ends with the fragment “Manufacturing, Agriculture, Retail and Healthcare,” and the overview’s reference to “190” interrupts clarity. Some linking phrases feel mechanical, and relationships between the sectors are not made explicit. Grouping related trends—for example, the rising retail and healthcare figures—would create a clearer progression and more effective cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant task vocabulary such as “line graph,” “sector,” “trend,” and “number of workers,” so the reader can generally understand the topic. However, the range is limited and several noticeable spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision: “higest,” “folowed,” “down ward,” and “incline” are inaccurate or misspelled. Phrases such as “it goes upward” and “highest increase” are also imprecise for describing a trend over time. Aim for accurate, conventional expressions such as “rose steadily,” “declined,” and “reached a peak.” More precise vocabulary would help distinguish a sector’s overall rise from its rate of increase and make the comparisons clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt a few different sentence patterns, including an introductory clause and sentences beginning with “Overall” and “Furthermore.” Nevertheless, the range is narrow, and errors in sentence formation and verb use are frequent enough to affect clarity. The opening ends with the incomplete sentence “Manufacturing, Agriculture, Retail and Healthcare.” In “manufacturing was the largest employer in 1960 and by 190 this trend decline,” the verb form is incorrect and the time reference is unclear. The construction “healthcare the number of workers was 5 millions” is also missing a grammatical link, while “it was incline” uses an incorrect verb form. Practise complete sentences and consistent past-tense forms when describing historical data.

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