Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

This graph explains the number of jobs in four sections of the economy in the US from 1960 - 2020. The Manufacturing sector had the highest number of jobs throughout all these years, especially in 1980, where the jobs reached to 20 million. Although, after reaching its highest number, the Manufacturing sector started declining soon after 1980's and there was a gradual increase in the Retail sector jobs and a sudden increase in the Healthcare sector jobs. The Agriculture sector remained less in numbers throughout all these years and got its lowest jobs in the year 2020. In 2020, the Retail and the Agriculture sectors had an equal number of jobs while the Agriculture sector remained at the bottom and the Manufacturing sector came in second with about 13 million jobs. Overall, both the Agricuture and the Retail sectors showed good progress in increasing the number of jobs and interest of people in these sectors.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify several relevant trends, including manufacturing peaking at 20 million in 1980, agriculture reaching its lowest point in 2020, and manufacturing falling to about 13 million by the end. However, the overview is incomplete and includes a key factual error: retail and agriculture were not equal in 2020; retail and healthcare were both at about 16 million, while agriculture was around 2 million. The claim that manufacturing had the most jobs throughout is also inaccurate, since retail and healthcare were higher by 2020. Some important comparisons are missing, particularly healthcare’s strong rise and retail’s steady growth. Develop a clearer overview of the main changes and check each end-point comparison against the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response follows a generally understandable sequence, moving from manufacturing to the other sectors and then to a concluding statement. Linking expressions such as “Although,” “after reaching its highest number,” and “Overall” help connect ideas. However, the paragraph is presented as one block, and the progression is not always clear: several trends are combined in a long sentence, while the final comparison about 2020 is difficult to follow and factually confused. “Although” also introduces a clause that does not form a complete contrast with the following sentence. Group the overview separately from the detailed comparisons, and use clearer links to show how the sectors changed over time.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “declining,” “gradual increase,” “sudden increase,” and “highest number.” This gives you a basic range for reporting the graph. However, several choices are imprecise or unnatural for data description: “sections” is less suitable than “sectors,” “remained less in numbers” is unclear, and “good progress” and “interest of people” interpret job figures rather than describe them. There is also a spelling error in “Agricuture.” Aim for precise, neutral language that reports employment levels and changes without suggesting causes or public interest. Vary repeated uses of “jobs” with terms such as “employment” or “the number of positions.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple and more complex sentences, including a sentence beginning “Although” and clauses describing changes after 1980. The main meaning is usually understandable, but some sentence structures and punctuation are not well controlled. “Although, after reaching its highest number…” is an incomplete or awkwardly joined construction, and “reached to 20 million” uses an unnecessary preposition. The phrase “started declining soon after 1980’s” also has an incorrect time expression, while “the Retail and the Agriculture sectors had an equal number” contains an inaccurate singular agreement pattern for plural sectors. Use complete sentences, check subject–verb agreement, and practise accurate comparative structures such as “retail employment rose to…”

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