Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates change in the number of job, measured in the millions, accross four sectors of the US economy, manufacturing, retail, agriculture, healthcare in between 1960 to 2020.

Overall, manufacturing is the highest employment sectore in the long period of the time, despite experience a considerable decline after 1980. BY 20 millior per year which was also the highest peak of all sectors and face the decline up to less the 15 million per year by the end of 2020. On the other hand retail and healthcare show the substantially, growth through the year, retail started with more then 5 millons job per year and goes up to 15 millon at the end with healthcare which had less then 5 million per yeat but in the end reched up tp 15 million jobs in 2020.

whoever agriculture also had the same number of job as retail in 1960 but it face the decline throught the period of time and goes down to less then 5 millon per year which make it the smallest sectors among all.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main overall patterns: manufacturing peaks in 1980 and then declines, retail and healthcare rise, and agriculture falls to the lowest level. You also make relevant comparisons, including agriculture and retail starting at the same level. This covers the key features and supports the stronger half of this performance. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear: manufacturing is not the highest sector throughout, since by 2020 retail and healthcare are both around 16 million, above manufacturing at about 13 million. You also say retail ends at 15 million, while the chart shows about 16 million, and healthcare rises to about 16 million. More precise reporting of the final rankings and figures would make the overview more complete and accurate.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview of the main trends, and a final point about agriculture. The contrast signalled by “On the other hand” helps distinguish the rising sectors from manufacturing’s decline, and the ideas are generally relevant and understandable. However, the overview sentence becomes difficult to follow because several points are joined together without clear sentence boundaries, particularly the passage beginning “BY 20 million per year.” The long sentence about retail and healthcare also combines multiple comparisons, making the relationships less clear. Use separate sentences to report the peak, later decline, and end values, and make paragraph transitions more controlled rather than relying on a single contrast marker.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “considerable decline,” “peak,” “growth,” and “smallest sectors,” so the reader can understand the broad trends. However, the range and control are limited by repeated basic wording such as “number,” “job,” and “goes up/down,” as well as inaccurate or awkward combinations such as “highest employment sectore” and “show the substantially, growth.” Spelling errors—including “accross,” “millons,” and “reched”—are noticeable and reduce precision. Aim for accurate collocations such as “employment in manufacturing,” “rose steadily,” and “fell to approximately two million.” Check spelling and word forms carefully, and use varied but natural language rather than adding complex expressions that do not fit the sentence.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, and the main trends can usually be understood. However, control is uneven, especially in longer sentences. For example, “Overall, manufacturing is the highest employment sector … despite experience a considerable decline” has an incorrect verb form after “despite,” while “retail started … and goes up” shifts tense within a past-period description. There are also problems with articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries, as in “the smallest sectors” and the run-on overview beginning “BY 20 million per year.” Use past tense consistently for the historical data, check subject–verb and singular/plural agreement, and divide long sentences into complete clauses. These changes would make your comparisons easier to follow.

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