Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In this line graph, we can see how four sectors of the economy: Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, Healthcare and how many jobs were created between 1960 to 2020.

Overall, we can see retail and healthcare are the two sectors with the most successful data. However, manufacturing started with a sharp rise later faced a drastic fall whereas, agriculture industry stayed at the bottom.

Healthcare started with the highest number of jobs (15 million) in 1960 and reached to 20 million in 1980. Healthcare, was completely opposite and saw a decline to 3 million in 1980 which was 6 million in 1960. By the year 2000, Manufacturing sector also faced a fall to 17 million compared to 3 million in Agriculture. During the time 2000 to 2020, the jobs came as low as 13 million and 2 million for manufacturing and agriculture.

On the other hand, the journey of Retail and healthcare were very promising. In 1960, retail had 6 million jobs compared to 2 million in healthcare. In the next 20 years retail and healthcare reached 10 million and 5 million respectively. During, the next two decades the rise was very visible and reached 15 million and 11 million.From 2000 to 2020, healthcare had a more sucessful rise compared to retail and both matched the figure at 16 million jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response identifies the broad contrast between the growth of retail and healthcare and the low level of agriculture, but several central figures are assigned to the wrong sectors. Most importantly, the opening says healthcare began at 15 million and rose to 20 million; these are manufacturing’s figures, while healthcare started at 2 million and reached 5 million in 1980. The later statement that healthcare declined to 3 million also confuses it with agriculture. This substantially weakens the accuracy of the report and makes the overview unreliable. You do report the later rise of retail and healthcare and the decline in manufacturing and agriculture, but a clearer, accurate overview and correctly matched figures are needed for a fuller response to the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is a recognisable paragraph structure: an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs that group the declining sectors and the rising sectors. This gives the reader some sense of organisation. However, progression is weakened by the repeated mislabelling of sectors, which makes references such as “Healthcare, was completely opposite” difficult to follow. Linking is also sometimes mechanical or awkward, as in “On the other hand” and “During, the next two decades,” and the final sentence runs directly into the preceding figure without a space. Improve cohesion by using clear topic sentences, naming each sector consistently, and connecting comparisons directly rather than relying on broad transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response uses a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “decline,” “rise,” “compared to,” and “reached,” so the main trends can generally be understood. However, some expressions are imprecise or unnatural for describing statistical data. “Most successful data” and “the journey … were very promising” sound evaluative rather than objective, while “jobs came as low as” is an awkward way to describe a fall. There are also spelling and word-form slips, including “sucessful.” Aim for concise, neutral reporting language and accurate collocations, such as “recorded the highest figures,” “employment fell to,” and “increased steadily.” This would make the description more precise and appropriately academic.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and more complex sentences, including comparisons across years, but errors are frequent enough to make some sentences awkward or unclear. The opening construction, “we can see how four sectors … and how many jobs were created,” is not grammatically complete, and “between 1960 to 2020” uses an incorrect preposition pattern. Other examples include “reached to 20 million,” the comma separating the subject from its verb in “Healthcare, was,” and “the journey … were,” where subject–verb agreement is faulty. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly in “During, the next two decades” and the missing space after “11 million.” Practise complete sentence structures and check verb agreement, prepositions, and punctuation when editing.

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