Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph shows the jobs in four sectors in the US including manufacturing ,agriculture, retail and healthcare. Overall the number of retail and healthcare increased while retail and agriculture decrease. By 1960,retail ams healthcare increased by 5 billion but by 2020, retail reaches to maximum limit by 15 billion jobs while healthcare also reaches its maximum. By 1960, agriculture and manufacturing were the highest at 6 billion and 15 billion respectively. By 2020, agriculture and manufacturing decreased to 3 billion to 11 billion. Wxaaaaàà

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the four sectors and make an attempt at an overview, noting that some sectors rise while others fall. However, the overview is inaccurate: you say both retail and agriculture increase, then say retail and agriculture decrease, whereas retail rises throughout and agriculture declines. Several figures are also misreported. In 1960, agriculture and manufacturing were not both the highest; agriculture and retail were about 6 million, while manufacturing was 15 million. By 2020, manufacturing was about 13 million and agriculture about 2 million, not 11 and 3. The response is also substantially below the required 150 words, leaving the main trends and comparisons underdeveloped. Include a clear overview and accurately compare all four sectors across the period.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response has a basic sequence: it introduces the graph, gives an overview, and then mentions figures for the beginning and end of the period. This provides some organisation, but the progression is difficult to follow because the overview contradicts itself: retail is described as both increasing and decreasing. The repeated opening “By 1960” also makes the comparisons unclear, especially when the second reference appears intended to describe 2020. There is no clear paragraphing or grouping of related trends, and the final “Wxaaaaàà” is unrelated and disrupts the ending. Organise the report into an introduction, a concise overview, and body paragraphs that group rising sectors separately from declining ones; use clear time references and linking phrases.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant task vocabulary, including “sectors,” “manufacturing,” “agriculture,” and “maximum,” so the reader can recognise the subject and the categories being compared. However, the range is limited, and several expressions are imprecise or unsuitable for describing employment data. “Increased by 5 billion” does not clearly identify which sector or time period is meant, while “reaches to maximum limit” is awkward and “billion jobs” gives the wrong scale for values shown in millions. The unexplained ending also detracts from the response. Build a more precise set of trend verbs and comparison phrases, such as “rose steadily,” “declined,” “overtook,” and “stood at approximately,” and use “million jobs” consistently.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You produce several basic sentence forms, and the opening sentence communicates the topic. However, grammatical control is uneven, particularly in verb forms and sentence construction. In “the number of retail and healthcare increased,” the subject and verb pattern is incorrect; a clearer form is “employment in retail and healthcare increased.” The overview also shifts between “increased” and “decrease” without consistent tense, and “By 1960” is used where the later sentence appears to refer to 2020. Punctuation and spacing are inconsistent, as in “1960,retail,” and the sentence beginning “By 1960, agriculture and manufacturing…” is awkwardly constructed. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and use complete, clearly punctuated sentences.

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