Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the distribution of jobs across four different sectors (Manufacturing, Agriculture, Retail, and Healthcare) in the USA between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, manufacturing accounted for the highest proportion of jobs for the majority of the period, while retail and healthcare experienced steady growth. In contrast, agriculture saw an initial decline before stabilizing.

Looking at details, at the begining healthcare at very lowest point approximately 2% and than boost up in 2020 health care reach at the point of 16% approximately as compared with manufacturing at the begining manufacturing at very high point 15% and than fell down at the end of 2020 manufacturing sector reach the point of 11%.

In stark contrast, at the starting retail and agriculture at the same point that was 6% approximately and then retail take a sharp turn and boost up at the end of 2020 ratail was on the point of 15% while agriculture at the same starting point but steadily fell down and at the end of 2020 agriculture sectore is on the point of only 1%.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You provide a relevant overview by identifying manufacturing as the leading sector for much of the period and noting growth in retail and healthcare alongside agriculture’s decline. However, some key details are inaccurate: manufacturing falls to about 13 million in 2020, not 11, and retail and healthcare both finish at about 16 million, rather than retail at 15. Agriculture ends near 2 million, not 1. The overview also misses the important change that healthcare catches up with retail by 2020, while manufacturing is no longer the largest sector. Develop the comparisons across the four dates more fully and report figures consistently in millions of jobs, not percentages, to make the summary more complete and precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall shape: an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs. The grouping of healthcare with manufacturing, followed by retail with agriculture, gives the reader a basic route through the data. However, progression within the detail paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow because several comparisons are compressed into long, loosely connected sentences. Phrases such as “at the begining” and “at the starting” recur, and “In stark contrast” does not clearly signal the relationship between the two sectors that follow. Use shorter sentences and organise the details chronologically or by contrasting trends, with clear links such as “Meanwhile” and “By 2020.”

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant chart vocabulary, including “distribution,” “accounted for,” “steady growth,” and “initial decline,” which helps communicate the main trends. However, the range is limited by repeated informal or imprecise expressions such as “boost up,” “fell down,” and “at the point of.” Several spelling errors, including “begining,” “ratail,” and “sectore,” also reduce accuracy. In addition, “proportion” and the repeated “%” are not appropriate for a graph showing numbers of jobs in millions; this affects precision. Choose standard trend language and use the chart’s unit consistently, for example, “jobs” or “million jobs.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

There is some variety in sentence forms, including the overview contrast “while retail and healthcare experienced steady growth” and the clause “before stabilizing.” However, many longer sentences are difficult to control. For example, “at the begining healthcare at very lowest point approximately 2% and than boost up in 2020 health care reach…” lacks a clear subject–verb structure and contains problems with articles, tense, and sentence boundaries. The final detail paragraph also joins several ideas without reliable punctuation. Practise writing complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and use past-tense forms consistently when describing the historical data. More accurate control of these basic patterns would make your comparisons easier to understand.

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