Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The Line grapgh illustrates the number of jobs in four different sectors in US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall the number of jobs have increased and decreased throughout the years.The amount Manufacturing jobs was the highest in 1960 compared to other jobs in the the same year.It was 15 million in 1960 and hit its peak in 1980 which was the highest amount of jobs ever recorded about 20 million of them.Afterwards it declined significantly throughout the next forty years.The amount declined to almost 16 to 17 million in 2000 then fell again in 2020 almost at 14 million.

In comparison to Manufactring,the Retails jobs had a steady growth.In 1960 it was almost 6 million than it increased again in 1980 by 4 million followed by another jump of 5 million.It reached its highest number up until now in 2020 which was almost 16 million.

Moving to Agricultural jobs they had a dramatic decline in 1980.The number of jobs after 1980 fell steadily for the next 40 years reaching its lowest point in 2020 at only about 2 million.

Moreover in contrary to Agticulture jobs, The Healthcare jobs had the same stable growth as in the Retail jobs.Both the Healthcare and Retail jobs had the same maximum amount of jobs which was about almost 16 million.The only difference is that healthcare jobs number increased markedly from 1980 to 2000.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main patterns and make relevant comparisons: manufacturing peaks in 1980 before declining, retail rises steadily, agriculture falls, and healthcare grows strongly. The overview is present, and most figures are broadly consistent with the chart. However, “the number of jobs have increased and decreased” is too general to summarise the overall picture, and some details are less precise: manufacturing is about 13 million in 2020, rather than almost 14 million, while agriculture falls to around 3 million by 1980 and remains there in 2000 before reaching 2 million. The comparison that retail and healthcare both end at about 16 million is useful. To strengthen the response, make the overview more selective and clarify the key ranking changes, especially healthcare’s rise to joint-highest by 2020.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response is arranged in a clear sequence, with an opening, an overview, and separate discussion of manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare. Comparisons such as “In comparison to Manufacturing” and “in contrary to Agriculture” help connect the series, and the reader can follow the broad progression. Some linking is mechanical or awkward, however, and the overview is not clearly separated from the manufacturing details. The final paragraph also combines healthcare with a comparison to retail without fully explaining the shared endpoint. Use a distinct overview paragraph, then group related trends—for example, the rising sectors together—and use precise references such as “the two sectors” rather than repeating “jobs.” This would make progression smoother and cohesion less dependent on formulaic transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of trend vocabulary, including “hit its peak,” “declined significantly,” “steady growth,” “dramatic decline,” and “increased markedly.” These choices communicate the main movements, but several expressions are imprecise or unnatural, such as “the highest amount of jobs ever recorded,” “another jump,” and “same maximum amount of jobs.” There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “grapgh,” “Manufactring,” and “Agticulture,” alongside inconsistent forms such as “Retail jobs” and “Agricultural jobs.” These errors do not prevent understanding, but they limit precision and control. Aim for standard chart language and accurate sector names, and vary “number” and “jobs” with suitable terms such as employment or workforce where appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses with “which” and time expressions such as “Afterwards” and “from 1980 to 2000.” The main trends remain understandable, but grammatical errors recur and sometimes make sentences awkward. For example, “the number of jobs have increased” has subject–verb disagreement, while “In 1960 it was almost 6 million than it increased” has a faulty comparison structure. Articles and sentence boundaries also need attention: “in US” should be “in the US,” and several sentences run together without a space after the full stop. Check agreement, use “whereas” or “and then” to connect comparisons, and punctuate each sentence carefully. More consistently accurate complex sentences would improve control.

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