Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The diagram illustrates a data of occupation about US economy in four types (manufacturing, retail, agriculture, healthcare)between 1960 to 2020. Unit is measured in millions

Overall, manufacturing and agriculture has decreased over the period given, while retail and healthcare rose. At the beginning, manufacturing was trending in most cases and agriculture was slowly decreasing . Manufacturing was still the top of the list, while retail and healthcare increased sharply in middle of the period. By the end, healthcare and retail eventually took over manufacturing, also agriculture was at the lowest of them all by huge margin

Initially, manufacturing started with 15 millions and peaked at 20 millions in 1980. Before had a downward trend till 2020. On the other hand agriculture had 5 millions and reduced shift till 3 in 1980. Had a steady trend for 20 years before gradually declined to 2 million in 2020.

On the flip side, retail and healthcare had similar rises starting with 5, 2 millions respectfully and reaching 15, 12 millions in 2000. However in 2020 they both reached 16 millions, which clearly indicates that healthcare had sharper in growth.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main overall pattern: manufacturing and agriculture decline after their earlier levels, while retail and healthcare rise, and you note that the latter two finish level at about 16 million. These are relevant features, and the account includes several key figures. This partly reaches beyond a basic summary because you compare the sectors across the period. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear: agriculture begins at about 6 million, not 5, and healthcare reaches about 11 million in 2000, not 12. The statement that healthcare and retail “took over manufacturing” is imprecise, since retail only becomes higher by 2020 and healthcare catches it at the endpoint. More precise comparisons and a clearer account of when the lines cross would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction and overview are followed by paragraphs grouping manufacturing with agriculture, then retail with healthcare. This makes the main comparisons reasonably easy to follow. Linking phrases such as “On the other hand” and “However” help signal contrasts, and the overview gives the reader a useful map of the trends. At times, though, connections are mechanical or unclear. “Before had a downward trend” and “Had a steady trend” are sentence fragments, while “On the flip side” does not clearly express the relationship between the two rising sectors. Improve progression by using complete sentences and linking each figure explicitly to the relevant trend or comparison.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of trend vocabulary, including “peaked,” “downward trend,” “steady,” “gradually declined,” and “sharper in growth.” These choices show an attempt to describe change rather than simply list figures. However, several expressions are inaccurate or unnatural for a chart report, which limits precision: “a data of occupation,” “trending in most cases,” “reduced shift,” and “took over” do not convey the intended meanings clearly. “Respectfully” is also the wrong word for introducing corresponding figures. Aim for standard collocations such as “number of jobs,” “fell to,” and “rose more sharply.” More consistent, precise vocabulary would make the comparisons clearer and more formal.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including contrast clauses such as “while retail and healthcare rose” and “which clearly indicates…”. However, grammatical control is uneven, and errors sometimes make relationships difficult to follow. Examples include “manufacturing and agriculture has decreased,” where the plural subject needs a plural verb, and “Before had a downward trend” and “Had a steady trend,” which are incomplete sentences. There are also problems with articles, plurals and sentence boundaries, as in “a data” and “15 millions.” Work on forming complete clauses, maintaining subject–verb agreement, and checking punctuation. A wider range of structures will be more effective when these basic patterns are controlled.

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