Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

the line graph illustrates the rise and fall of jobs in four different sectors of the economy in US from 1960 to 2020.

overall it is clear that the agriculture remains falling wheras retail and healthcare experienced the highest increase.while manufacturaing face a sudden fall.

According to the line graph overall it is clear that agriculture sector shows 5 milions jobs in 1960 but than remains falling from 1980 to 2020 by only showing 2 millions jobs.on the other hand retail sector begins with 6 million jobs in 1960 and incresae it by showing 10 million jobs in 1980 and it shows a rise in 2000 by 15 miilions jobs and a little rise in 2020. healthcare sector also remains a good rise in jobs.in 1960 it begins with only with 2 million jobs but rose upto 5 million in 1980 and grew upto 11 million in 2000 by the late 2020 it climed upto the peak of 16 million of jobs.on the other hand the manufacturing sector take a start with 15 millions of jobs in 1960 and reaced a peak of 20 millions of jobs in 1980 nevertheless it dropped to a low level of upto 17 millions in 2000 and remains dropping to 12 millions in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You cover all four sectors and report the main overall patterns: agriculture declines, retail and healthcare rise, and manufacturing peaks before falling. Several figures are also accurately selected, including manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and 20 million in 1980, and healthcare reaching 16 million by 2020. However, some details are inaccurate or imprecise: agriculture starts at about 6 million, not 5 million, and manufacturing ends at about 13 million rather than 12 million. The overview also calls manufacturing’s decline “sudden,” although it falls over two decades, and does not clearly identify that retail and healthcare are joint leaders in 2020. The response addresses the task, but some comparisons and trends need more precise development.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview and a paragraph describing the data. It also groups related information and uses basic linking expressions such as “on the other hand” and “nevertheless.” However, the overview is repeated with “According to the line graph overall it is clear,” and the long final paragraph moves through all four sectors in a way that makes comparisons harder to follow. Several transitions are mechanical or unclear, and punctuation is missing around sentence boundaries, as in “increase.while manufacturing.” Organise the details into clearer comparisons—for example, rising sectors together and declining sectors together—and use linking words selectively so the progression is easier to track.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “rise,” “dropped,” “peak” and “climbed,” so the main changes are generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several expressions are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “remains a good rise,” “take a start,” and “a low level of upto.” Repetition of “shows” and “jobs” also makes the account less precise. Spelling errors, including “wh eras,” “manufacturaing,” “incresae” and “miilions,” are noticeable and reduce the clarity and control expected in a data report. Build a more reliable set of trend verbs and collocations, and check spelling and word forms before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, and the reader can usually understand the intended trends. However, complex sentences are often not controlled successfully, and errors in verb forms, articles, agreement and punctuation recur. For example, “agriculture sector shows 5 milions jobs” lacks an article and a grammatical link before the quantity, while “retail sector begins … and incresae it” has an incorrect verb form and unclear construction. The sentence beginning “healthcare sector also remains…” contains several clauses joined without clear punctuation. Use shorter, complete sentences when describing each period, and check that each clause has a subject and correctly formed verb. More accurate sentence boundaries would make your range easier to follow.

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