Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates data about different jobs in the US in manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, there was an upward trend in both retail and healthcare, whereas manufacturing and healthcare showed downward trend over the given time period. In initial years manufacturing was leading category of jobs, while in final years retail and healthcare became. Agriculture was least common sector of jobs throughout the time duration.

In initial yaers, most jobs were in manufacturing sector, to begun with 15 million after reached to a peak in 1980 at 20 million. The number of job declined gradually and in 2020 reached approximately 13 million. In contrast, retail and healthcare rose gradually over the perion stood from about 6 million and 3 million respectively, to approximately 16 million.

There was very few jobs in agriculture sector, started from roughly 6 million after consistant decrease reached approximately 2 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the main broad patterns: manufacturing rises to a peak before declining, retail and healthcare grow, and agriculture remains the smallest sector. You also include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing’s peak of 20 million and its fall to about 13 million. However, the overview contains a significant contradiction: it says both retail and healthcare rose, then says manufacturing and healthcare declined. The final comparison is also incomplete: retail and healthcare both finish at about 16 million, rather than simply becoming leading categories. Agriculture’s intermediate figures and healthcare’s rise from about 2 million are not accurately reported. A clearer, fully accurate overview and more precise comparisons would make the key features more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction and overview to details about manufacturing, retail, healthcare and agriculture. Phrases such as “In contrast” help signal a comparison, and the information is generally grouped by trend. However, progression is weakened by the contradictory overview and by the final paragraph, which gives only one brief detail about agriculture. Some linking is awkward or unclear, particularly “over the perion stood from about 6 million and 3 million respectively,” so the reader has to work to follow the comparison. Organise the body into clearer comparisons—for example, declining manufacturing and agriculture together, then the two growing sectors—and use more precise links between sentences.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant task vocabulary, including “upward trend,” “peak,” “declined gradually,” and “approximately,” which helps describe changes in a graph. There is some variety in how you refer to the sectors and their figures. However, several word-choice, collocation and spelling problems make the language noticeably awkward: “leading category of jobs,” “least common sector of jobs,” “to begun with,” and “consistent decrease” are not used naturally in context. Errors such as “yaers” and “perion” also reduce accuracy. Aim for standard graph-description phrases and check spelling carefully; this would make your meaning more precise and fluent without requiring unusually advanced vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a contrast with “whereas” and a sentence beginning “In contrast.” However, complex constructions are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to read. For example, “to begun with 15 million after reached to a peak” has incorrect verb forms and an incomplete sequence, while “retail and healthcare rose gradually … to approximately 16 million” lacks a clear grammatical connection between the starting and ending figures. There are also missing articles and awkward sentence structures, as in “manufacturing sector” and “There was very few jobs.” Practise complete clauses, consistent past-tense forms, and subject–verb agreement.

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